Goth Meme tells me what I already knew..

You scored as Romantic Goth. You are a romantic goth, better known as a tradtional goth. You are probably quickly identified as a goth by outsiders. Black lace, bats, and moonlit cemetaries are just a few of your favorite things. Romantic Goth 58% Old-school Goth 54% Perky Goff 54% Industrial/Rivet-Head 50% Ethereal Goth 42% Anything-Goes Goth 42% Fantasy Goth 33% Cyber-goth 21% Death Rocker 21% Understanding Outsider 21% Confused Outsider 17% What subcategory of Goth best fits you? created with QuizFarm.com

Fun with Spanish Packaging

Listening to 'Too Young' by Koo De Tah

When you want some sweet luvin', it's time for a



Chester the Cheetos cheetah doing Bela Legusi.



If they ever make a Plan 10 from Outer Space...

Barcelona

With links :)

Food and Drink
Don’t expect the sort of service you expect in Australia. It’s rare.
0 According to our Indian waiter at Mickey’s Pizzeria
“Sangria is a very romantic drink.”
Therefore E3.95 for a pint of it, at the Irish pub down the street must be more special than we thought.
0 Maoz falafels are delicious, healthy and cheap. An excellent vegetarian’s option.
0 Freud b’ Art. A restaurant with gallery walls. Attentive service, relaxed atmosphere, and inventive, delicious, well priced food. We found it by accident, looking for another restaurant.
0 Cafe Lirica, La Rambla. For service, hot chocolate and tapa basics.

Art
Museum Gaudi @ Park Guel is the least interesting of the 3 main Gaudi attractions (there are others). Park Guel is nice but see it first then Casa Batllo, then the unfinished, awe inspiring, masterpiece that is the Sagrada Familia cathedral. We saw them in the opposite order :P Don’t bother with the ‘free’ audio tour at Casa Batllo. It’s goofy.


The roof of Casa Batllo

Take a train to Figueres to see the Dali Theatre Museum, and the adjacent Dali Joies. This must be the world’s best Salavador Dali museum duo. Dali was involved in the Theatre Museum’s creation. You’ll see a few of his famous works some of which are murals. There’s also a real Mae West room with a special viewing lens so you can see it a bit like it is in the well-known painting. Dali Joies showcases his jewellery designs, which are exquisitely decadent. A few of them are animated. Be aware that you can buy basic Dali souvenirs (postcards, some of the sculptures, floppy watches galore) in the neighbouring shops. If you have time, I recommend checking them out before going to the museum so that you can see what is available as it’s generally cheaper than the official museum shop.

Shopping
Kukuxumusu! It means ‘kiss of the flea’ in Basque. It’s a design studio from Pamplona that designs quirky, funny, graphics for t-shirts (kids and adults), keyrings, stationery, postcards and several other products. The visual humour used is universal. We found the main store in Barcelona by accident. I got a pink t-shirt of Little Red Riding Hood kicking the wolf in the soft bits, and postcards to share the lurve. Their stuff is so cool!



Be aware of the Barcelona Card for train travel. It also entitles you to discounts at many of the main attractions, and a selection of restaurant and shops. This includes the well-stocked BCN Original Shop souvenir store under the main square, Placa de Catalunya and the smaller store near Placa de Sant Jaume. Both are also tourist information points.

Chocolate and wine

With Easter and my brother's gallery opening (then there's M's upcoming housewarming) I have scoffed what is probably too much of the above over the last fortnight, and am waiting for the bodily repercussions of this. The pimple on my forehead could be the first sign.

I write this as I nibble on a mint Aero bar and contemplate having a glass of red.

At work today the back room was so warm and I felt so tired I was fighting off sleep while on my meal break. Had to have a nap when I got home. Have been spending too much time on the internet of late.

Have cut back on my hours at work to 4 days a week. I want/need to dedicate more time towards getting my art work together, and creating new pieces for an exhibition I will have with my brother in early July. Am really looking forward to getting back into creating art since I haven't done anything in probably over a year!

Plus I should really be getting myself out there and building up a client base for my business. I currently have one excellent client.

Last Saturday M and I took the boys to the Helen Lempriere sculpture exhibition at Werribee Park. I thought it would be a good opportunity to expose the boys to art whilst in a less formal setting than a gallery, allowing them to run around and burn some energy. Apart form the inevitable fighting in the car and park it went alright. From what M had said, S got something out of it. Two of his favourite pieces were my favourites as well :) There were a LOT of VERY WANKY artist's statements. Many had a fondness for using several multi-syllable words in sentences that made no grammatic sense if any. There should be tighter word limits.

Garden Nibbles

Listening to 'Pride (In the Name of Love)' by U2

In my garden...
...the other week I heard a buzzing. I thought it was a bee caught by a leaf curling spider. Instead it was this, which was much cooler:



‘She’ killed the blowfly by biting into its neck. She then proceeded to eat it from the head down, consuming legs and wings. It was interesting to watch Nature taking its course in my humble backyard. I also got to see what fly innards look like while they’re still in the fly and not squashed.

The ever so slightly disconcerting but also charming thing about the praying mantis is that unlike many other insect eyes, you can tell when it’s looking at you.




From my garden



Most of this year’s lemon crop from our dwarf lemon tree, harvested this morning. Photo by my brother who may be painting a still life of fruit some time :)

Random thought on Barcelona No. 1

It seems to be a growing trend to make people pay more and give them stuff they don't want - instead of paying less and paying extra for extras. It started with the weekend paper years ago
“Why am I paying extra for a great big wad of the Classified section? They’re already paid for by the people who place the ads. I don’t want to read them but I’m picking them up anyway because I’ve paid for them now. :P”

A recent example is entry tickets at Casa Batllo, Barcelona with the stupid but ‘free’ audio guide* with a posh man and woman cooing,
"See the big, colourful window. It creates the feeling of light and space. Gaudi was really clever.
There were no windows before he was born. Before Gaudi blessed the world with his genius, if people wanted light in a building they would knock holes into walls or light a candle made of their own ear wax...

...See the bumps on the ceiling. Are they breasts? Is it a splash from a drop in milk? Or just pretty bumps? We can't be sure because Gaudi died a loooong time ago."


*The author accepts no liability for the reader's deemed 'word for word' accuracy of this transcript.

F**k Max Brenner...

...and his scribbly Bald Head.

Listening to 'Sweet Dreams' by the Eurythmics

G & I decided to give Max Brenner at Melbourne Central another chance this evening. This time was not much of an improvement on last time.

We sat outside at a table instead of on stools at the counter/bar. The customers before us at this pair of tables had left barely touched* food and drinks, which the staff had yet to clear away.

We were ignored for too long (didn’t keep track of it this time) and the service was indifferent to us, refusing to make eye contact. Back when things were new - around a year ago - the staff here were consistently attentive, making sure we had all we wanted before and after ordering.

I decided to take matters into my own hands.
“Kerplunk”,
went the metal fork as I dropped it on the ground. No sign of being noticed yet.
“Ping!”
went the fork a minute later. G and I joked about upending the whole table. I snakily growled that I was prepared to use every ‘hostage’ on that table top, one by one, until we got service.

Fortunately the second piece of cutlery did the trick. We got menus. However we only got as far as the menus last time, as I reminded G. Our waitress did nothing to change our fallen expectations.

The quality of the goods consumed is irrelevant. This isn’t the only place in town to get a good hot chocolate, though admittedly it has the biggest range of hot chocolate. I can not vouch for the QV Max Brenners. It may well be different.

I’m not going to bother telling them this, but I’m telling you and via this blog I’m going to spread the word. The service at Max Brenners, Melbourne Central was slow and the staff don’t give a s***. Try Koko Black, or Brunettis in Carlton instead.



*So little was consumed we weren’t sure if they weren’t coming back. I don’t think this is why we were ignored bytheway, since it was not on the table we were sitting at.

Madrid Part III – Banco de Espana, The finishing touch

Prior to visiting Madrid I had always assumed that carved, stone ornamentation on a building was carved in the workshop then cemented into place. Not quite so - at least not in the case of the Banco de Espana. It looks like they block in the overall form then make it part of the building, carving it to its final form onsite. I guess it makes sense when you're dealing with forms that use more than one piece of stone.


Overall view of new, unfinished facade

At first, because we approached the building from the end they were working on, I thought it some kind of modern, almost Art Deco, ornamentation. We soon figured out what was really going on. It’s one of the many things we saw over there that you certainly see don’t over here. Stone masonary is one of those ancient crafts practiced by few due to scant demand. With the way modern buildings are constructed and devoid of remarkable detailing, I expect that even over there such a sight isn’t exactly pedestrian.


Detail views comparing new, unfinished additions with original stone work

This new addition to the building should replicate the stonework of the existing corner facade except it will have no clock (see Madrid Part I, Rule 3)


Original corner facade

Pets, chocolate iced donuts, films ... alcohol

Have finished a four day stint housesitting with no internet, caring for 2 cats, 2 dogs, one tank of tropical fish, and a pond of goldfish. Couldn't figure out how the microwave timer worked. Ate lots of fresh produce to keep my food costs down. Plenty of salad, pita bread, fruit and vegies. Didn't want to sit around watching DVDs all day. With G & P's collection I could have done that for every hour they were away and not have gotten though 5% of what they own. Consumed a fair amount of vodka and a bit of Cointreau. Got covered in dog and cat hair. Sketched the animals as they rested. Was cute how for the last couple of days the cats were totally relaxed with me when I picked them up.

Ate my first Krispy Kreme donut tonight. G & P, whose house I was minding, brought a box back from Sydney. Good texture but not the best donut I've ever had. The way I've heard/seen people go on about them I was expecting something with a bit more melt in the mouth fluffiness, and certainly much better icing. The 'chocolate' icing was no better than Donut King's.

I have a fond donut memory from my uni student days. I would occasionally indulge in a real chocolate iced donut from the Asian style bakery near Daimaru in the old Melbourne Central. They were the best donuts I've ever had.

In other news...
I now have 11 reviews published at the Four Word Film Review site, as well as the 80s Childhood Memories accolade :D
link to my reviews here


PS (30/03/06)
G wasn't able to do the same run through of housesitting tasks as he did last time. There were two big, fat sausages at the bottom of the fridge. Got a call from G yesterday morning. He reckoned the dogs must have loved me. It turns out I'd been feeding the dogs food for people and not pet food! I had thought it smelt rather good. One was fritz the other was pet food. P discovered this when he went to make sandwiches. They both found it funny. :)

PPS (20/04/06)
Now have 57 Four Word Film Reviews published. I rock :}

PPPS (01/06/06)
160 reviews published. It's fun :)

Every home should have...

...scientific glassware. No, not really though I do have some.

I starting collecting bits of it after creating a sculpture using the empty glass vials – they look like test tubes, but have no lip - from my father’s expensive cigars. My brother helped me make a wooden test tube rack for them to sit in. This work inspired me to jot down ideas for companion pieces to this sculpture.

My father bought some from Camberwell market and others from Industria in Gertrude Street, Fitzroy. I found 3 pieces at op shops.



At the moment they’re all just sitting in my room next to my stereo. I do have two definite ideas for the beaker and the smaller of the petri dishes. I haven’t given much though to the others. I would like to expand my collection. They have a simple utilitarian beauty about them. Apparently glass petri dishes aren’t as common as they once were, due to the fact that they aren’t made anymore. They’re all plastic now.

So, back to my opening sentence. What would lead me to make such a statement?



I caught this spider next to my bed the other morning. A petri dish was the best thing I had handy to capture it. Teamed with a bit of card then flipped over to add the lid it’s a great way to take a closer look at your temporary prisoner.



Going by my Australian Geographic, ‘Common Backyard Spiders’ guide, this may be a male, Whitetailed spider. The females are supposed to be 20mm long. Male spiders are always dwarfed by the females. The MO sounds right ‘...in summer may enter houses, often taking refuge in clothes left on the floor...’ Not a good one to get bitten by (may cause headaches, nausea, chills, blisters and ulcers) but not a deadly one either.


Thought for the Day
Stop faking it! Click here


[edit 23/03/06]
Website for the Day
Victorian Spiders
Apart from helping you identify them, there's also other interesting information about spiders at this site including the origin of the word arachnid

Madrid – Part II

Listening to ‘Listening’ by Pseudo Echo


Only in Madrid*, La Taurina restaurant



Urrgh ... creepy. I’m not keen on steak. With those bull heads on the walls I don’t think I could enjoy a mouthful of any sort of meat.

Not everyone who calls themself a vegetarian actually is one. It just makes things easier than trying to explain that you only eat certain meats. M, being an example of such a person, eats seafood.

When M and I started going out I took note of the days when I hadn’t eaten meat and felt really good about that from a philosophical point of view. Now that we spend more time together it’s just an everyday thing, going meat free. I doubt I’ll ever be a vegetarian. Meat curries, stir fries, satay chicken skewers, and seafood – big juicy prawns in particular – are too yummy to give up. Unless I develop an allergy I’ll never be a vegan. I may eventually give up red meat altogether. I feel healthier eating less of it and more fresh vegies and fruit.


*As far as I know. If not, then ‘Only in Spain’!

Madrid - Part I

Rule 1
All plazas of significance will feature a statue of a man on a horse.

Rule 2
In Winter, you can’t walk down a street during the day without encountering a woman in a fur coat. She will always be:
Wearing a full length coat;
Old;
Accompanied by someone, usually on their arm.
She will usually be a very slow walker.

Rule 3
The grandeur of a significant building is not complete without a clock built into its architecture.

Rule 4
The throne room will always be the most impressive room in a palace. It was my favourite room at the Palacio Real de Madrid. The armory had some beautifully crafted pieces including an especially fine pair of gloves from a suit of armour.

Other things of note
O Non-smokers are the exception.
O Snub nosed dogs like French bull terriers, British bulldogs and pugs are quite popular, followed by cocker spaniels.



O Medieval religious art gets boring VERY quickly. This happened last time I was overseas as well. Here in Australia you don’t see much of it, so it’s special. In Europe it’s abundant so you soon lose interest.

Recommendations
O Goat’s cheese is good.
O Seafood paella is a winner. Don’t be afraid to try the squid ink version. It’s tasty :)
O Have tapas at least once; try the garlic prawns, tortilla and potato bravas
O Have some wine with dinner.
O Splurge on dessert. Chocolate in 3 textures was excellent.
O The best chocolate con churros can only be found at a chocolateria. Only some of them have churros available all day. They are best when they are freshly fried (morning). The churros we tried back here in Melbourne were better :/ The hot chocolate was rather good.
O Do not rely on websites for subcultural information unless they are clearly being updated ie. Club website showing current events.
O Don’t rely on a guidebook for everything. Explore things for yourself. Have a wander down the side streets. There is such a satisfaction to be had, in discovering something unusual on your own.
O Get a tourist train ticket. You can walk between most of the things you want to check out. However it’s nice to have the unlimited use of the trains for things further apart or when you want to save your feet. It’s an excellent train system with clean, punctual, frequent trains.
O The Alcazar of Segovia (regional Spain, catch train from Madrid): pay the little bit extra on your entry ticket to gain access to the top. Like the view from most old buildings you will be breathless from climbing a steep, spiral stairwell. Rest assured it is breathtaking for a more sublime reason:



Art Museums
The 3 in 1 ticket for the 3 major art museums (Museo Del Prado, Centro de Arte Reina Sofia, Museo Thyssen-Bornemisza) is good value.

The Prado was a must see for me, due to Bosch’s ‘Garden of Earthly Delights’. Like all great paintings you can’t get very close to it, so I was squinting to see some more detail. You will see more in a book. Nonetheless it was special to stand in front of this amazing work of art. The Prado also has a few other works by Bosch. Plus a strange still life of a dead lamb, its little feet tied together. They didn’t have a postcard of it. You can take photos but no flash please! Like that ever stopped people :( Don’t make the special effort to get to the upper floor at one end of the building (near works by Goya), unless you like kitsch, Spanish oil paintings of unremarkable technique.

The Thyssen-Bornemisza is like a walk-through art history. They have a broad, chronologically hung collection with an example of work by most of the great artists. There’s a few nice Impressionist pieces, though none of Pointilism, a cute Miro on paper and a very fine Dali (‘Dream caused by the flight of a bee around a pomegranate’). The gift shop was larger than other museum shops we saw, with a good range of stock.

Centro de Arte Reina Sofia has a good selection of Dali. Be aware that you cloak your bag before you buy your ticket.

Shopping
Chueca’s Calle de Fuencarral has some interesting shops. It’s definitely worthwhile exploring the side streets in this area.

We were looking in the window of an exotic petshop on the way back from a museum near Atocha. There were the usual petshop things, a puppy, some lop eared rabbits and some ginger kittens. Then a head popped up amongst the ‘kittens’. Oh, that’s no kitten, that’s a meerkat! I was so surprised. After a few minutes of watching them, M asked me when I’d be moving to Spain :) When we got back to the hotel I started wondering how much they were.

On another day we went in. While I bided my time to enquire after the price* I watched them some more. The puppy in the enclosure next to them looked a bit mopey**. I reckon it was miffed about all the attention the meerkats had.


Meerkats in Atocha, drawing enlarged
pencil
There was a small gap (about 7mm) in the door of the enclosure. I put my finger to it and one inquisitive meerkat sniffed then touched my finger tip! I was gleefully stoked. I’d touched a meerkat :*D For the next few days, every so often I would say to M with a big grin on my face
“I touched a meerkat.” Its paw pad was soft like my late guinea pigs’. Its claws, though pointy, were not sharp like a cat’s.


Website of the Day
Fellow Earthlings' Wildlife Center aka chock full o' meerkat goodness!



*1500 euros. I’m glad they’re not cheap. Stops people buying them on a whim. Though you would need to buy the whole troupe (at least 4) if they were to be happy pets. How cool would it be to have a big hill on your back yard and a little troupe of meerkats scurrying about?
**Though maybe I was anthropomising a typical, solitary puppy face: big, brown eyes and a doggy pout, chin down not up.

A day in Singapore

We spent one day there to minimise our jet lag when we arrived in Spain. It wasn’t too hot and humid fortunately. There isn’t a lot to do there apart from look at shops.

At one shopping complex on Orchard Road there were two large aquariums full of tropical fish and some small sharks. In the first one we observed strange behavior in two little, yellow fish and a lone shark. The two fish were swimming together being pursued by the shark who would occasionally open its mouth a little wider. We watched this for several minutes. After lunch, hours later we happened to come past this aquarium again. They were still at it. We concluded that they must be really bored and this was a way for the three fish to relieve that boredom through a mock pursuit. We dubbed this, the TFE: TriFish Entourage. TFE = another term for bored


TFE*, drawing enlarged
pencil

While walking along the waterfront precinct we came across a laneway which had three giant, white, plastic (?), phallic objects. Definitely a WTF moment. Walking around to the back of them didn’t make it any clearer.



We’d never seen anything like this before. Walking along further we came across some more. I noticed a small white streamer blowing in the breeze from of the rear, eyeball socket holes. Aha, it’s a from of climate control ... in an uncontained – save for the roof – outdoor space. They didn’t feel like they were doing anything in terms of comfort levels. Perhaps it would be more obvious in warmer weather. What a disgusting waste of energy. The shape was amusing at least.

At Barajas airport in Madrid we saw similar vents but their housing wasn’t phallic and they were inside the building.

We checked out the world’s first – and possibly at this point, only – night zoo. The Night Safari zoo opens at 7:30, which is when the sun virtually always sets in Singapore. It closes at midnight. It features an assortment of mammalian nocturnal animals, and at least one reptile (a large python). There are several types of wildcat including tigers and leopards, lots of possum-like things such as bush babies, fruit bats, various hoofed animals, rhinos and tapirs.

No flash photography allowed. Might as well not bother bringing a camera you say. No, because there are some funky animal light sculptures outside the zoo that made suitable subjects after our visit.



Unfortunately there are no postcards of the animals, or any merchandise featuring photographs of them. This was surprising given that there are enough on their website and brochure.

I recommend forking out a little extra for the tram ride tour, as it will take you around most of the zoo fairly quickly. It stops at one place for you to get out and explore on foot. You get to come face to face with fruit bats. You’re in their enclosure and at times you may need/want to duck as they fly over you. They have a flying squirrel but it didn’t oblige us with a flight that night. It was content to sit in the shadowy fork of a tree and peer down at us.

There are three, count ‘em, that’s 3 otter exhibits plus they’re also in the Creatures of the Night show. They provide what has to be the world’s cutest demonstration of how easy it is to recycle. Towards the end of the show after a couple of raccoons raid a rubbish bin they put out 3 recycling bins. One for paper, one for metal and one for plastic. The contents of the raccoon bin are scattered on the ground. Two otters scurry out and start putting things in the recycling bin.


Recycling Otter, drawing enlarged
pencil

The metal recycling otter was reluctant to let go of his/her one tin, repeatedly chewing at it, and popping it in the bin only to half hop into the bin to retrieve it and chew on it some more.


Recycling Tin Otter, drawing enlarged
pencil

Finally a third otter, Pedro I believe, comes out to put away the plastic.

Website for the day
Official Night Safari Site


* I guess I should mention that these are my pencil sketches, drawn from memory. I've got one more from Madrid, and a pen sketch for Barcelona.

Cool Websites to keep you busy

Mouse update:
We still have a pest problem. The little buggers are out on the shop floor, during the day, while there are customers around. It took a customer to bring it to my attention. Seconds after he mentioned it I saw a small dark shape flitting along the floor. He said he’d seen them amongst the plush toys, where at first he thought they were native critters then realized they weren’t. I went over to the area and he pointed out one especially cheeky mouse crawling about the t-shirts. It slipped down the neck of one so we caught it there. I took it to the counter area and put it into a small bag. It peed on the shirt. I excused myself to the customer while I dispatched the mouse by thwacking it against a ceramic incense burner. Thank goodness the customer was cool about it all. Seemed as amused by it as I was.


Links for your entertainment
In addition to the links on the right, I have found the following amusing:

Pop the bubbles, pretty colours, pop all of one colour, clear the screen of bubbles.
Addictive online, Shockwave game

Silly reviews of sex toys
Sarcastic Sex Toy Blog

Something was definitely Lost in Translation
http://www.engrish.com

This one is already in the list however this link takes you to my published review on the site
Four Word Film Review

Comprehensive Melbourne weather updates. Not exactly fun but interesting. Found it when I was calibrating the barometer I bought my dad for Christmas. Updated every 15 minutes.
Caulfield South Weather Station

It should be a pleasure to read whether or not you’re in the Goth scene
Gothic Charm School

Featuring one of my favourite skits, the aliens and the telephone. Still hilarious so many years later :)
Sesame Street: 25 Of My Favorite Memories - Progressive Boink

Rather funny short film about Emos. Don't know what an Emo is? You will after watching this!
I must be Emo - The film

A series of 5, hilarious Flash film episodes. It's about a drunk who, through his beer goggles, thinks he's a superhero.
The Bottle


A clue as to why I won’t be blogging for the next 3 weeks**:
Quiero cambiar esto en euros.



* Churros! Sampled some at Hairy Canary in the city and oooh boy [drools]
**Instead of the usual nothing to blog / can’t be bothered blogging

Now with more back slashes!

Listening to: ‘Peek-a-Boo’ by Siouxsie and the Banshees

This blog turned one year old back in November. Please wish it a belated Happy 1st Birthday. Here’s a couple of pics to mark the occasion. They are of the coconut shells mentioned in my first blog post.


Ludo



Astro Boy

Dark and Moody

Took a few shots pre-Golgotha, Australia Day Eve. Here's a couple of them

Mouscapade

I discovered late in the afternoon that one of my secret Lindt balls at work had been nibbled into and hollowed out.

At about half past eight this evening I was in the back room and saw a small movement near the toaster. When I looked closely I saw a small dark shape under the toaster. I lifted the toaster up and there it was just sitting there, a nonchalant, mousy brown mouse. I said to it quite loudly
"I can see you! Yes I can. I see you there."
... And it just sat there

Later on I was putting stuff away at the end of the night and it was still under the toaster. Its tail was hanging below the shelf against the wall. The wall mounted shelf is on brackets with about a 1cm or so gap between the edge of it and the wall. I knew it wouldn't be able to go anywhere or bite me if I were to get its tail. So I held it there, pressing its tail against the wall

My coworker was scared of it so we got my brother - who was there to come home with me - to bring me a plastic bag. We moved the toaster away. The mouse squeaked quietly and tried to move but of course it couldn't. I put my hand in the bag and did the dog poo treatment to the mouse - capturing it in the bag, turning the bag inside out, closing it shut. Then I did what my dad did to a mouse years ago*. I took that bagged mouse and gave it a solid whack against a hard object, killing it in one strike. I gave it a couple more just to be sure.

I left a note for my manager saying 'I caught and killed a mouse! It's in the bag in the bin.'


*We had left a wok of cooking oil to cool overnight. In the morning there was a small, sorry looking, oil soaked mouse struggling to get out, running up the side of the wok but slipping back in again. He poured the oily mouse into a plastic bag and gave it a hard whack against concrete step. Dead on the first strike.

Gotheoke

Went to my second Kareoke night at Carmilla's last night. I checked out the song list. I am the Walrus by the Beatles jumped out at me. I wasn't particularly inebriated. I hadn't turned up, then checked out the song list with the intention of singing. However, on a whim, after seeing how much fun others were having, I thought I'd give it a whirl. Live a little. Try something new. The crowd seemed cool with whatever was being sung as long as you looked like you were having fun. I figured this song might go down well with the crowd.

Waiting for my turn to go on, I cheered on M who sung some 'Mode - of course :)

Had to go to the loo. Felt I should do that since wetting myself on stage was not an option :P

Got up to sing. A mixture of nerves and being new to wearing a corset (second outing) left me short of breath. Had to consciously try and relax my breathing. Found I couldn't hear myself so sung a little lower.

Then, towards the end of the verse before the chorus, the video screen temporarily stopped working! Arrgh. It came back on a couple of lines later. After the first chorus it went again. I waited for the next chorus, looking frantically about for the Kareoke dude. Meanwhile I'm wondering where the fuck is the dude, indicating to the crowd the screen isn't working. Screen came back on somewhere into the second verse for a few lines. Then went off again for the rest of the song. All that was on the screen was the word 'video' which, for the hell of it, I sang a few times! I got a guy checking out the lists to sing some of the manical laughing at the end for me.

I am the Walrus is a great song for Kareoke purposes. You can sing every word of it sober and impress the crowd with how well you handle what constitutes a Surrealist Rap. Or you can sing it drunk/tipsy and slur your way through and yet still be entertaining because Mr Lennon was on an acid trip when he co-wrote it. Yet even if I were to sing it for you right now - or even to myself - completely sober and sitting here not on stage, I would still have trouble remembering the words. Some of it is quite tongue twisting, there isn't any logic in it. It's the kind of song you can only sing if you've been practising, or have the original vocals to sing along with, OR have the words in front of you. After my performance I told the dude off. 'That was my first time and the screen wasn't working!' He gave the mike back to me 'What are we paying you for? ;)' He later apologised to me.

The next time could only be better than this right? Actually it wasn't that bad. I recommended it to others who had never done it. I'd do it again. I just couldn't do it again last night, afraid that the screen would stuff up. At least I can blame the dude for fucking it up :P A few people told me afterwards that I did alright :D

For those of you at home wanting to belt it out here are the words :)


I am the Walrus, The Beatles

I am he as you are he as you are me
and we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun
see how they fly
I'm crying
Sitting on a cornflake
Waiting for the van to come
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you've been a naughty boy
you let your face grow long

I am the eggman
they are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob

Mr. city policeman sitting
pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the sky
See how they run
I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying
Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife
Pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl
you let your knickers down

I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob

Sitting in an English garden
waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come you get a tan
from standing in the English rain

I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob

Expert, texpert choking smokers
don't you think the joker laughs at you
See how they smile like pigs in a sty
See how they snide
I'm crying
Semolina pilchard
climbing up the Eiffel tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man, you should have seen them kicking
Edgar Allan Poe

I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' goo
goo goo g' joob goo
juba juba juba
juba juba juba
juba juba juba juba
juba juba

Proof…

…that clothing sizing happens within years not a life time.
You’ve heard about how clothing manufacturers adjust the sizing to (flatter our egos) account for the increase in size of the average person. These labels are off the same style of basic jean but bought years apart. The second one is too saggy now, due to it being stretch denim - it stretched right out of size. I had to buy an 8 this time around.

Old size 12, for waist 65cm, hip 90cm


New size 12, for waist 73cm, hip 98cm

Channeling Edward Scissorhands

It often feels that way when clipping and snipping at this ongoing project of mine. That's a good feeling, readers :) It's a kitten. The ears are taking a while to grow in. Over a year old now.

Engrish for your feel good

Mirror Mat is a sheet of pre-cut, mirror, mosaic-sized tiles with self-adhesive backing. If you choose to become a proud crafter of Mirror Mat be aware that:
‘It is made by the small parts, so please be cautious to small children’.
Possibly the only product made entirely by deviant*, Oompa Loompa prosthetic, factory workers. Or a great insult to the product’s Chinese factory workers’ size and skills [mock earnest nod]
One of the reasons you should buy this product is because:
‘It is a funky sticky!’

Relaxation Balls are a pair of hollow metal balls with two toned, internal chimes. They massage your hands and aid relaxation. An example of traditional Chinese therapy,
‘When the Healthy Ball came out it was used to improve physical conditions and mould temperament, and was popular among the people market.’
It was a failure with the marine mammal and farmyard animal markets due to a lack of hands in the targeted demographic.


*Hence the need for caution. Normal Oompa Loompas are entirely trustworthy…more so if they have their bodies with them.


In other news...

Danced to 'Question of Time' at Golgotha on Monday. That song rocks on the dancefloor! Wore a set of batwings I made especially for the night. Could feel them jiggling about on my back as I bouncily danced :)


Pic care of M.

Playing the Angel

Listening to: ‘Precious’ by Depeche Mode

The above luscious song is on high rotation. I won the album at the ‘Playing the Angel’ launch night @ Dream on Friday. Love it and ‘Suffer Well’. Every time I listen to those two I bliss out :) The synth and vocal arrangements remind me of ‘Violator’, which is one of my favourite DM albums. Now own 7 out of 11.



‘T was the best night I’ve had at Dream since the last pirate night. Great music, new atmospheric lighting/effects set up on the dance floor area, fine company…[happy sigh] Could have requested any DM song I wanted but I went blank. The next morning it popped into my head: ‘Question of Time’. Such a good track for dancing to. I’m surprised it isn’t played often. Not sure I’ve danced to it at a club before actually. Wish I’d put some thought into it during the week! It would have been the first time I requested something at Dream.


In other news…
Woke up and my first thought was that I missed M. He’s away in Sydney right now.

My day was ho hum: hanging up the family wash, hand washing my long gloves and red bustier from Friday, calling up my clients, going through some magazines and books my brother got from a dumpster the other day, pottering about on the computer for my business stuff. Then they arrived.

It’s our 3 month anniversary. M is so lovely and thoughtful. He had flowers sent to my house.

Up

Listening to: the washing machine

Revisited an old haunt of mine over the weekend.

It was recommended online by Viscera, from Dream, in response to a ‘I’d love to dance to…’ thread on the forum little over a month ago. In person she went on to say it was the only place where she danced and that the atmosphere was relaxed. Others online described a ‘cheese level’, as in; there is a level full of cheesy music. Cheese Gromit!

In some ways DV8 is just as I remembered it; virtually the same floor layout*, semi-festy loos, bogan element, on the first level music played so loud you worry about the long terms affects on your hearing, the occasional person wearing ear plugs…

We got there after 11 to discover the Cheese Level wasn’t going to open until 1. ‘Let’s wait,’ I said ‘It’s what we came for’.
My bourbon and coke tasted soapy so I sucked it down quickly rather than nursed it.

The 1st level has evolved into a metal/heavy-shit level. They used to play stuff like, The Offspring, Green Day, Soundgarden, Nirvana and Weezer. Not my favourite bands but I’ve bopped along to some of that sort of thing. I was certainly not expecting to hear the same stuff years later. While I liked a few of the tracks played the rest left me wanting to burrow into M’s shoulder/neck/arm pit (!) to escape it, feeling like my ears would start bleeding any moment. What a relief when they cracked open the Cheese.

It was as our friendly DJ described it. One of my measures of a good night out is dancing until you’re sweaty. I can’t vouch for M’s sister who also came along – and appeared to enjoy herself – but that’s exactly what we did.

*How much can it change?’ you ask. Quite significantly if you go by the old DJ booth @ Dream. It used to be in a little alcove above the lowel level dance floor. Now that overall space is a stage and the main dance floor is upstairs.
**Hehe, adding the word ‘original’ made me mentally cue ‘Original Sin’ by INXS :P

Lady Meerkat

Listening to 'Confused' Instrumental, by New Order

As myself ;) :P

Cut the cord

Listening to 'Leave in Silence', by Depeche Mode

Over a month ago I came to make peace with myself. I had been thinking about something for a few months. Finally I cut the cord. I acknowledged I was not going to ever be employed as a designer, despite my talents. It's been too long since I graduated, I don't know anyone etc... I realized I would do best to pursue my freelance visual merchandising career.

So I turfed most of my design mags that I'd been hoarding. There was about a shelf/box full. My father, as always lacking in perception or basic observation skills,
"Oh you're tidying up a bit."
Completely unquestioning as to why I'd be getting rid of just design magazines, which were originally around $15 each...

Have been meaning to mention this in my blog because it irked me that all he saw was the getting rid of stuff. He didn't see that I had let go of a dream and woken up to reality.

She's got the Look

Listening to 'I’m on my Way', by The Proclaimers

‘Walking like a man, hitting like a hammer
She's a juvenile scam, never was a quitter
Tasty like a raindrop she's got the look’

Sometime ago a friend said this is such a silly song, quoting the above lyrics, asking 'What does that mean?'

I provided an interpretation of it that went something like this:
A swaggering transvestite, with fighting skills
She's a young con artist, who won't leave you alone
Thirst quenching but leaving you wanting more, she's got the look

Clear as mud?

Capture

Listening to ‘The Riddle’ by Nik Kershaw

After work on Sunday, in preparation for night out at a film shoot I got changed in a toilet cubicle in Melbourne Central. I had just hoisted up my panty hose under my dress and slip when I noticed on the floor in the cubicle beside me, a pair of stumpy-fingered hands. They moved closer along the floor, some orange striped sneakers came into view, followed by a young, Mediterranean man’s face! Eep! I was too surprised to say anything, though I felt oddly calm about it all. As soon as his eyes met mine he disappeared and I couldn’t be buggered pursuing him. Creepy. Not sure if this is something I should report and to whom.

Met up with my man for dinner, then we went on to our goth friend’s film shoot. We were helping out by being part of the crowd for a club scene along with a good number of others from our online/offline goth community. Some of us obliged the camera by dancing. We danced a bit, had a few drinks, and candidly provided some goth couple cuteness for the camera. Awww ;)


In other news…
Was planning on photographing the windows I installed last week. This is best done in the morning. At this time the building across the street has diffused light on it, making its reflection easier to eliminate using my polariser. It's also before the sun creates shadows from the tree in front of the store. Which is before 10 am usually. Unfortunately today is a dull, overcast day. Will set my alarm again for Friday, hoping the light will be better.

The Lion King

Saw the stage show production tonight - bloody brilliant! Amazing what can be achieved with theatre know how. Had to stop myself trying to figure out how they did a few bits and just sit back in awe. Excellent exploration of puppetry and the possibilities of the human form integrating with a puppet. Beautifully stylised animals and characters, except for the meerkat dammit!

Not happy with the meerkat. The puppeteer was green and it diverted attention away from the bold orange puppet. It made them seem like 2 separate entities. I thought perhaps it would be because there would be a predominance of green background following the first scene with this character. When there was more green on stage it still didn’t work for me. It also looked more like the animated version. I was never keen on his look, despite raising common awareness of the existence of the charismatic critter.

There are still elements of the animated film in terms of Disneyness (?). They are the parts that slightly grate. However it's so much more than that.

When the music reached a crescendo, lighting, staging, sets, costumes and puppets worked together so beautifully, I felt goosebumps several times. Wonderful. The opening scene, the stampeding wildebeest valley scene, and father's voice from the stars scene were my favourites.

Un/Endorsements

Listening to: ‘Spinning the Wheel’ by George Michael

Tried Heinz ‘Very Special’ vegetable with barley canned soup for lunch. It isn’t anywhere near special let alone very special unless by special you mean ‘special’. In other words it’s crap. You may well be better off drinking rinse water from your dinner dishes, with perhaps a little salt added for extra ‘flavour’.

Part of my routine before work is to duck into Coles and buy something cheap, light, fresh, and healthy for my lunch. The winners are:
O Safcol tuna with lemon and pepper, on 2 sesame seed rolls with finely sliced celery
O Velish soups, pumpkin and sweet potato varieties, with a roll
O Bag of Coles, home brand Greek salad. Oh how I love Greek salad! This bag has everything you need. Cut open the main bag. Snip open the little bags of fetta, sliced up olives, dressing. Empty them into the main bag. Hold it closed and shake it about thoroughly. Tip onto a dinner plate and you’ve got a lovely, meal sized, stack of salad.


In other news…
...My drought has broken. [twinkle in her eye, small smile on her face] Lady Meerkat is no longer on the shelf...

...Have cranked up the preparations for my 30th birthday pirate party. This is the first party I’ve ever had for myself. Growing up we didn’t have birthday parties. I’m not sure why. I guess I didn’t have enough friends. As a child I didn’t get invited to any parties either. Sad, I know :P

I composed the invite in Illustrator, digitally cut out a pic of my favourite pirate (JD as Sparrow :D) in Photoshop, stuffed up the fold lines’ relationship with the text [shrug]. I hadn’t put enough thought into where they’d go you see. Duzzen madda it’s a party invite not a brochure! Made envelopes especially for the invites. Sealed then up with sealing wax, pressing a little button (I have an extensive collection) with a ship on it, into the hot wax. Am glad we don’t usually have to seal envelopes this way anymore. Goes from solid to drippy fizzling, then back to brittle solid very quickly.

My sister has taken it upon herself to help out which is great. In return she gets to invite her friends along, all of whom enjoy dressing up for themed parties. She has gone surfing the net for activities and ways to dress our house. She enjoys cooking and hosting parties. ‘T will be piratey fun. Have just started a picture for one of the party games. It’s only a modified tracing from a book rather than an original work of art. The idea behind it is completely mine. It should be a hoot!

The Real Thing

Listening to: ‘Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band’ by The Beatles

I don’t claim to be a connoisseur of fine good. There are some foods I’ve tried that are just wrong and it would be obvious from their description that they are crap. Like a ‘cabonara’ pasta box, that you microwave for 2 minutes. The so called cabonara sauce was an icky, bacon flavoured paste that would seem more at home coming out of a tube of toothpaste for dogs. Or the bun from a Yupi lolly hamburger that came with the kids' magazine at work. Just wrong.

You won’t find me trying are any of the recipes from a delightful book my dad just acquired. If he dares to dish up anything from this book there will be much protesting. I’d rather eat instant noodles than anything from: ‘Classic Cooking with Coca-Cola’ (by Elizabeth Candler Graham ‘Great-great-grandaughter of…founder of Coca-Cola’, and ‘Ralph Roberts…author of over forty books’). Not all of the recipes in here use Coke. Some use Sprite and other products made by the company. Unfortunately there are no pictures so you will have your your imagination. There’s a fair amount of gelatine and layers involved. Here’s some of the culinary delights listed:
O Australian BBQ Chicken - We have a style of chook that Southern Americans are aware of - WTF?
O Pirate Steak - Arrrr… bleargh
O Forgotten Stew - Speaks for itself
O Crabmeat Supreme – It’s as bad as it sounds. Think tomato soup, Coca-cola, cheddar cheese, 2 cans of crab meat, and still more cheese.
O Coca Cola Salad
O Congealed Vegetable Salad – Oh yes, the word ‘congealed’ always get my mouth watering. A lovely mix of orange Jello, Sprite, shredded carrots, green onions and celery.


And another thing…
Have concluded that poppy seeds are one of the most pointless foodstuffs. All they do is make things look pretty. Made two tuna salad rolls for lunch. One with sesame seeds and one with poppy seeds. Not only do poppy seeds have much less flavour, but they’re messy when stuck on the outside surface of a roll. Most of them fell off onto on my plate. Oh, and they get stuck in your teeth too easily.

Mole Rats.

If there was a prize for best opening line in a Natural History journal, this one is the winner:
‘It’s a subterranean dynasty ruled by a queen who, like her subjects, looks like a four-legged penis with a tail and buck teeth’*

Here’s the animal in question, the naked mole rat:


Here’s the super cute and perky Disney version from the cartoon series Kim Possible.



In my search for mole rats on the web I came across this rather sweet piccy I just had to share with you. A mole rat in the land of juicy chocolate turnips. Awww.... I lubs it :D



That concludes my posts containing extracts from this particular issue of Nature Australia (highly recommended reading).

* Pollard, Simon D., ‘Queens of the Desert’, Nature Australia, Spring 2004, page 72

Plastic Birds

The other day I read about blogs that deal with more important things than minutae of the author’s life. Political blogs, news blogs etc. This blog isn’t about to be one of those, but the following is something that has bugged me since I read about it. I want to share it with you. I feel it’s relevant considering my recent mention of pelicans.

Regular readers of this blog will be aware of my fascination with animal skeletons. I think they’re cool. This one isn’t cool. What you're looking at is a rib cage full of plastic.


Source*

Until I read this article I thought that plastic bags were the main problem when washed into stormwater drains, only affecting local/Australian wildlife. Think again. This sad little skeleton is evidence of something bigger than that. All plastic washing into stormwater drains, and into the sea is dangerous to wildlife - particularly to birds. What’s more it can swirl around in the sea for decades, spreading around the globe, breaking up into more pieces, spreading further still.

What's the story behind the skeletons? On Lord Howe Island a flesh-footed shearwater chick is too weakened by starvation to move away from humans. Its belly is full of plastic. How did this happen? Its parents would have ingested this plastic when finding food for their chick. When they regurgitated food they also regurgitated some of the plastic. While smaller pieces may pass through, others will sit inside the stomach, taking up room. Too much accumulated plastic and there’s no room for food.

After reading this article - and before typing this up for you today - I went out to the front of my house and into the back lane behind it, to clean up every bit of plastic I could find. Not just bags, but anything plastic. It was the least I could do and I will continue to do this on a regular basis. I will make a small difference to birdies/critters out there somewhere :)


In other news...
The days are getting longer now. Hooray, past the half way mark for Winter!


*Hutton Ian, ‘Plastic Perils for Seabirds’, Nature Australia, Spring 2004, page 58

Pelicans

Listening to: ‘Now You’re in Heaven’ by Julian Lennon

Am fighting the blues at the moment. Getting annoyed, but not showing it, with people a lot. Perhaps these people are actually annoying and I was comfortably numb before… Feeling dissatisfied with my appearance more often. Fiddling/adjusting with my clothes more often than is really required (probably). I will get through it.

I have things to be thankful for. Small, silly, and/or simple things still bring me happiness and contentment. For example on the train home from the dentist (small new filling and clean up) I saw four birds flying in a line. Slowly, as they came into better view, I saw they were pelicans. The sight of these beautifully large birds, so graceful in flight, moving against the grey sky made me feel happy. I’ve always found the sight of a flying pelican an uplifting sight. To see four was rather special :)

Rainy Day Activities

Had a great night out last night dressed up as a pirate. Much fun when dancing, to fluff about in glowing white shirt, a dangly sash belt, boots and a tricorn hat. [sings] Yo ho, yo ho a pirate's life for me. Tee hee :D

Today was a classic Winter's day in Melbourne. Like the Winters of my youth, it rained almost all day. So no soccer this week :( Even if it had been fine, my group has been a lazy bunch. They seem to have dispersed, or found girlfriends who won't let them kick a ball around for a couple of hours on Saturday :P Hopefully it will pick up in Spring.

Rainy Day Activities:
I got my exercise by taking a walk in he rain, under my enormous Bunning's umbrella.
Tidied a bit in my room, did some dusting.
Completed a collage I started months ago but had stashed away for a day such as this :)

Here 'tis:


Mutation
paper collage

70 Kinky Jelly Spheres aka KJS*

At work we sell rubber balls that make light and sound – think electronic laser gun/ explosion sounds - when you bounce them. 3 year olds like to play fetch with mum by throwing them about, usually out of the store. On such occasions these things bounce dangerously close to the balcony edge, threatening to roll off and brain some poor bugger on the escalator 2 storeys below.

Today I wrote off 70 of them. I initiated** taking our usable write offs to the Salvos, thus minimizing our waste. As I carted this bag of balls home tonight, my little brain got to thinking of the ways 3.15kg of rubber balls bursting out of the bag would be a bad thing/disastrous:
1. While going crossing the balcony level to escalators – could potentially drop 3 storeys to people on lower ground level. Would this cause serious injury? I’m not sure. I missed the episode on Mythbusters regarding things dropped from a height.
2. While on long escalators down to my platform. These things would probably fall even more uncontrollably oweing to the plethora of surfaces and edges. Chaos theory in action. [propellor head]
3. On platform while train comes in. Embarassing but probably no injuries.
4. While in packed train. No one gets concussed though potentially people could trip over them and roll their ankle. Ouchy. Oh yeah and my pride might be injured, because it might be really funny to spectators.
5. Walking up ramp from station. Everyone behind me would be in trouble! High potential for falls. My reaction would probably be “Holy crap! Stop!!”
6. Accosted by someone in the street. I’d swing the bag at them just before I scoot off. The explosion of rubber balls would surprise the accoster (is this a word?) plus it would foil pursuit of me :P
7. At my front gate. The least dangerous as well as the most annoying and likely of them all.


*I remember the product code for this product, KJS, by turning it into an acronym :) Everytime someone buys one, this runs through my head as I type in those letters :P
**Have also initiated recycling our bottles in food court bins instead of chucking out with rest of rubbish.

Full Circle?

[sulk]From my first goth club pirate night back in March, to my second one this Friday, I have come full circle. I’ve gone from not knowing anyone to knowing around a dozen or more. Yet, as last night proved for me, I can still feel just as left out and lonely in a crowded room.[/sulk]

Thank goodness for music worth dancing to. After all it was what brought me out in the first place. It’s what I continue to go out for, socializing comes second place, and it’s what gives me the most enjoyment from my club.

The dressing up part? [whine] Yes it’s fun but sometimes angsting about getting the right combination of skirt/hosiery/top/footwear isn’t. I can’t not care in such an environment. Even with everyday wear I find that I feel better about myself when I’m happy with my outfit. There’s this funky pair of B&W striped knee high socks I have that I’ve been trying to work into my outfit week after week but it never works damn it![/whine] I think I’ll resign them to house/bed socks.

Maybe it’s just the Winter Blues hitting me, or maybe it’s the scene. This disillusionment seems to be the norm among the former goths I’ve spoken to. You can have too much of a good thing. I have been going out every single week for the last month. After this week I’ll make myself scarce. Perhaps that will make it special again.


In other news…
I found out tonight that my late grandfather, who used to coach tennis, coached the only (or the first - I don’t follow the tennis) Indian to win Wimbledon!

Spam Tales II

Here's the one using a perfume ad. It reads:
trust hurts.
this makes it all better.
Cheryl Thug, Emergency Cash


Cheryl Thug
digital file


The original ad:

Spam Tales

Feeling lazy writing wise. Heres a bit of art I created a while ago from a series called Spam Tales. It reads:
'How Smart are YOU?'
'How close are you to being a genius?'
'Are you smarter than George Bush?'
Liguori Wunderlin, 'Millionaire Mentor Needs YOU', Generous Lender
YourBrain - 'Get paid for Yours'. 'Assured Life', 'Get a New Body for NO Money!'


Brain Transplant
paper collage, ink

Over a few months I compiled a list of interesting spam senders and titles. I mashed them into semi-coherent spiels then I came up with collages for each story. There were 5 in the series. 3 of them, this one included, were mainly composed of material from an late 19th C children's annual that was beyond repair. I doctored the images - for example the women were not so curvey - the old fashioned way, with a scalpel and ink! The other 2 used magazine ads for perfume and womens underwear :D

She's got legs!

Listening to: ‘Blue Monday’ by New Order

A week of several firsts for me:
0 Bought my first set of tyres. Chose not to cut corners on choice of tyre. I thought I wouldn’t have enough money to go out this week to my favourite night club, Cabaret Nocturne as a result. Ironically the venue for CN is a neighbouring tenant to this tyre shop.

0 Spoke with my manager about the possibility of my progress through the company into management. She said has mentioned to our regional manager, my good management potential. This was the first time she and I had discussed it. Finally, a employer that has real opportunities for advancement - and not spin doctoring to suck you into thinking you can grow :/

0 Walked out of Max Brenners really pissed off, contemplating ripping up my frequent cupper card, after getting fed up with waiting for service. My buddy and I chatted for a while expecting the usual attentive service on a Friday night. Had to ask for menu after about 10 minutes, then we waited another 15 minutes to place our order via waiter/ess. Stupid git of a waitress appeared to think wiping the tables next to us was more important than checking to see if we were being served, or even ackowledging that we were there at all!!! Seriously disappointed :( We had such a nice history Max B and I. Have had only good things to say about the place until now. May not go back there again - ever. F*** 'em.

0 Bought my first trench coat. Rain proof, fully lined and necessary because…

0 …Wore fishnet hosiery in public (to CN). Actually I’ve never worn fishnets in private either, unless you count trying them on, so it’s a first on two counts :)

0 Saw a burlesque show (@ CN). Never been to one before. It bored me [shrug]. Do you need to be attracted to women to find this interesting?

While I haven’t gotten to the stage where I can dance totally alone on the dance floor and be completely comfortable, I think I’m getting there. There were a few times last night where I thought I’d be totally alone. After feeling a small panic and cursing quietly, I persisted dancing in the darkest corner I could find. I ended up being ‘joined’ by at least one other person, sometimes a small crowd.

That’s the beauty of goth clubs: you can dance by yourself and that’s perfectly normal, while not attracting too much unwanted male attention. Be a woman dancing by herself in a mainstream club and … Well, I haven’t tried it but I’m sure I wouldn’t like it. Found intrusive/intoxicated males annoying enough when dancing with other people.


Did you know...
WARNING: Retchworthy factoids to follow.
… Humpback whales have almost the same weight of testicles as they have of brains? That’s 5 kg of brain to 4 kg of testicles.

To prepare a whale skeleton from a carcass, museum curators must extract that brain. It’s usually done with a hose fed into the back of the skull. Turn the hose on and the water displaces the brain which ‘balloons out like pink minced tripe if it’s fresh, or rotten haggis if it’s off.’* Despite what you’ve read in this blog about my skull recovery escapades, this is a skull I’d leave to the professionals! When they don’t have a hose they will scoop it out with their hands - yech.


* Van Dyk, Dr Steve ‘Humpbacks: cannon balls and brains’, Nature Australia, Spring 2004, page 20

[smirk]

Listening to: ‘Dirty Mind’ by Shakespear’s Sister

On Monday I had trouble getting anything in focus on a telescope a customer was interested in, so got my colleague to help out. She took it and him outside the store into the atrium. Being towards the end of the day it was getting dark*. Too dark to focus on anything, save for one store: Bras ‘n’ Things. [outer smirk, giggles, some post customer cackles]

Was standing at tram stop on St Kilda Road this afternoon, Fed Square side, when I happened to look up and see a 2’ high sign saying ‘C OCKS’ [inner smirk] It was the sign for the gambling den next to the station, which normally reads (Taberet?)‘CLOCKS’ but I had happened to stand in a spot where the frame for the windows of the tram stop opposite, cut out the ‘L’. While on the tram it happened again. Two foot high ‘COCKS’ strategically framed by the tram’s windows. [another inner smirk], actually reads ‘ALCOCKS’. They are a pool and gaming tables supplier.


In other news...
[singing like Marilyn Monroe to JFK]
Happy Birthday… to you
Happy Birthday… to you
Happy Birthday… Johnny Depp…
Mmmmm :*)
Happy Birthday… to you


*When using a telescope for terrestrial use you need daytime conditions. When using it for space you need night time conditions with a minimum of ‘light pollution’.

Seperated at birth?

My best friend has suggested to me - on more than one occasion - that John Howard and Penfold the hamster from Dangermouse look alike.
"But Penfold is cute!" I retort.
Having put them side by side like this I think he has a point. Ooh crumbs!

Equine Enigma

I was reading an article in a back issue of Artichoke* on the train earlier in the week. The article looked at the excellent - do yourself a favour and see it - new Racing Museum at Federation Square, Melbourne. Captions for the pictures and further discussion of a particular feature in a project reminded me that wanky descriptions and use of ridiculously wordy language are still integral to the design culture.

'Dynamic spatial experience of the void draws visitors into the museum.'
'A glazed screen wraps the supergraphic around the multi-level pedestrian access void'
'The dynamic ribbon oscillates between two-dimensional graphic and architectonic element, resolving at various points into both. While unifying the necessary but disparate parts of the entry experience, this device also links the entry level to the museum...'

Wank, wank, wank, etcetera. 10 points to the first reader to guess what is being described.


Another equine related enigma is...
...This cigar band, from something my dad smoked. The horse is a disembodied head. Perhaps the dude holding the reins is with the mob? :P




*Design Institute of Australia's quarterly magazine - I used to be a member 'til I decided it was pointless given my current careeer trajectory.

Natural History (Dead Stuff) continued

WARNING: You may not want to read this before/during dinner/if you're squeamish when it comes to dead things

We dug up the rabbit skull (see Archives, February). Unfortunately we had left it in the ground for too long. The fissures that hold the bones of a skull together, had begun to seperate. The thinner parts at the base of the skull had partially disintegrated. The intricate nasal cavity folds - surprisingly similar to the fox in intricacy but obviously in a shorter snout - were crumbling. While useless for my brother's skull collection, I may yet use it in a sculpture...

Fortunately the darned blackbirds had disturbed the comorant skull a couple of months ago when it was almost ready. It's sitting in a plastic container waiting to me to dab a bit of PVA glue on its skull fissues, mandible and what not. Why didn't we just dig up the rabbit skull back then? In previous anticipation (is that a tautology?), we dug up gooey possum and rancid fox, that's why.

Blasphemy

Just thought I'd share this with you :/

The following clipping is in poor taste. I snipped it some time ago from an interior design trade magazine. In case any of you are viewing this on a public computer with a crappy screen it says
'Designer ware to die for'
with a pic of a reproduction, of the world's most famous pieta` (depiction of the Virgin Mary and the dead body of Christ).

I can't believe the company concerned thought this was publishable copywriting. Did the right hand know what the left hand was doing?


I consider myself lucky to have seen the original, albeit behind glass. It's a very emotive sculpture in the flesh. I'm not a believer but by goodness, Michelangelo was a genius [solemn nod]

Why Lady Meerkat?

Lady Meerkat is like her animal namesake because she:
Is brown and athletic
Has big brown eyes
Has a little, pointy nose
Has long digits
Is usually perky and alert
Digs holes (and fills them in again with organic matter, plants and more dirt)
Has been seen perched on top of raised objects in order to see/access stuff
Stand on her toes to see better (top of CDs in racks at library)
Is dexterous
Has acute reflexes (gotten much better since started playing soccer)
Cooperative, a team player
Has bitten, nipped and nibbled her own species (in the best way :} )
Is charismatic, cute and adorable when she wants to be
Can be snarly and snappy when crossed
Eats meat
Stands upright

Lady Meerkat is not like her animal namesake because she:
Sometimes finds company stifling
Doesn't eat scorpions, grubs and snakes
Isn't stripey
Isn't covered from head to toe in fur, (although she does have downy to peach fuzz, all over and hairy non-scalp parts like every other female, homo sapiens. Is that too much information? :P)
Doesn't have a tail
Is fascinated not scared by the sight of a raptor in the sky
Has a blog. [drums] ba dah ba ping!

Lady Meerkat is a lady because she:
Covers her mouth when she coughs, burps or yawns*
Excuses herself when she burps*
Puts her napkin/serviette on her lap
Uses a knife and fork where available
Says please and thankyou
Avoids profanities*
Opens the bottle of wine a guest has brought to drink with dinner
Tries not to interrupt others when they are talking (though sometimes her meerkat enthusiasm gets the better of her)
Lets other passengers alight before getting onto public transport (among many other courteous things**)
Holds her long skirts clear of steps when climbing the stairs

Lady Meerkat is not a lady because she indulges in the following when not in polite company:
[puts hand in front of mouth while yawning]
Sorry, must go and get my beauty sleep.
Can't look as fab as I do without enough sleep ;)
Goodnight dearies...



*when in public
[edit 06/05]**benefitting (sp?) complete strangers!

Social Bat

Went to my second Goth Forum meet up and my first Golgotha (it's a bit like Blue Monday, in that it's always on a long weekend, and everyone attends if they can). Had a great time meeting more people as well as getting to know a little bit better the few I've already met.

Goreki, you're my favourite kind of funny-perky-crazy - even nuttier than me - I love that!

I would have stayed longer but my brother/companion was getting tired and I wanted to pay my share of the taxi fare. We can't all be extra perky meerkats, buzzing from drinking guarana and gingko laced fruit juice all day :*D Btw that is really good stuff if you want to get a caffeine buzz/stay awake naturally. It's like drinking coffee but your breath smells better and you don't have to pee as much. I got mine from Coles Express in the refrigerated juice aisle.

WTF?

My brother bought a box of second hand model trains at Camberwell Market. Yesterday I noticed this piece of packaging from it. We were bemused. It reads:
'TAMMY (R)
Solid state full circuit toilet tissue dispenser
radio ... for complete private enjoyment
MODEL : E - 1077'
Weirdo train nuts ;)

Tammy, Model: E- 1077



In other news...
My best friend is back at work, doing light duties. Upon my request, in exchange for house sitting favours, we're going to see the Lion King when it's here in Melbourne :D The puppetry and costumes for that look amazing [nod]

Registering high on the BS scale

The following appeared in yesterday's job section of The Age, My Career:
'We seek an experienced sales professional for our dynamic retail store. Our vision is to inspire individuals to step up and become leaders whilst being champions at turning out results within their own lives...'

Intriuging, isn't it? Also stinks of BS or similar. Here's why:
'...The successful applicant will be working within the Gilbert Retail Group which is one of the most dynamic multi-store groups of Cash Converter Stores.'

Who writes this crap?

24 uses for a little,dead, green man*

I own a piece of Alessi! Why is this so exciting?
Official Alessi Website

Alessi aka The Dream Factory, is an Italian design group that been around since 1921. They started off manufacturing metal tea services. Over the years they have elevated some designers to international fame; Michael Graves, Philippe Starck, as well as Australians Marc Newson (grrrr) and artist Susan Cohn (she designed the cohndom box). Today, Alessi is synonymous with bright, playful - and expensive - homeware.

So how can a Part Time retail worker afford Alessi? Simple: she shops at Savers :D I was wandering through there as I usually do after handing in my fortnightly form to Centrelink (Savers and Centrelink are on opposite sides of the same block here). Saw this funny green man lying on the shelf with a tummy that doubled as a pen holder. Flipped him over and there’s the Alessi logo. Whoah… this is a big deal for a former Industrial Design student to find Alessi going for $3.99 in as new condition. After all of those years of admiring cool stuff that I thought I’d never own.

I’m not a label ho mind you. I gave some thought as to what I was going to do with this dude. Did I have a use for him? Where would he take up pen holding duty? Oh hell with it, figure it out when ya get home, you can finally own Alessi. Wheeeee! He’s looking good next to my computer :)

It was my day at Savers yesterday - and not just for the bright green, Alessi voodoo doll/dead dude that you stick pens into. Noooo. I also found:
~ a velvet trimmed, black, wool felt hat from Italy which, with a bit of sewing in the right spots, I am going to turn into a 3 point hat aka a PIRATE HAT! *excited*
~ some little black gloves, with an embroided detail, with fingers that actually fit my elegantly long digits. They must be an older than they look because they are made in Western Germany.
~ a black, ¾ lace sleeve (fitted then flares/ruffs out in a Baroque/Rococco, late 18th c. style, don’t know technical term) top, with ribbon trim, lace up bodice detail with lace behind that on the front. The cool comfort of a singlet top, with the elegance of flowing sleeves. Needs a little mending. Plan to sew in a satin panel behind the lace detail since you can see bra through lace panel. I don’t want to do a Gwyeneth Paltrow and go without, since that look is no better IMHO.
All of this for $14.95! ‘Twas a good start to my day. I trotted home with a little smile on my face.

Erm, do I sound materialistic with two consecutive posts about 2nd hand acquisitions? Sorry. Just wanted to share my excitement in these purchases. This won’t become a shopping blog. Promise :P

In other news…
Got another MLP (Moondancer is yellow, with red and purple mane, glitter moon and stars on her rump), this time from an Op Shop near my best friend’s house. We were house sitting for him. His was the first house I sat. Have taken care of other people’s animals before. This was more challenging but overall enjoyable.

Have visited Caberet Nocturne @ Dream for the third time and reckon I’m in danger of becoming a regular ;) Looks like I’ve re-entered the scene at an excellent point in time! Good people, good music. *happy sigh*

*Hold 23 pens/pencils/things, plus you could use him as a paper weight