Pasta Porn

On a pack of Italian pasta, this lovely, retro illustrated seal is disturbing in at least three ways.

Firstly there is a bit of Pasta Inception happening because she is holding another packet of pasta. The actual seal is on the back of the pack so it isn't visible in the illustration. I'm as disappointed as you are about that.

Secondly the act of unsealing the pack is a bit like ripping off her skirt due to the alignment of it and the pull tab. Weird is one word for it. A bit wrong might be another way of putting it. I wonder how a rape survivor would feel about it... 

Lastly, I would like to draw your attention to the blue triangle under her knee - and the main reason why I'm writing 
ie. Where is her other leg and the rest of her skirt?!

Don't worry I have worked it out for you:

You're welcome.

Standing at the Back Dressed Stupidly and Looking Stupid Party

'The Standing at the Back Dressed Stupidly and Looking Stupid Party was a political party during the Regency era.' From http://blackadder.wikia.com/wiki/Standing_at_the_Back_Dressed_Stupidly_and_Looking_Stupid_Party

Louis Vuitton, Vogue November 2012

Sassy, hose wielding lady from the 1980s

The following borderline NSFW image is from an an old Vogue Australia article featuring designer Arabella Ramsay's scrapbook. Not really sure what is going on here [innocent look].



At a stretch it could be by iconic, 1980s illustrator Antonio Lopez - although his style is usually less overt.

Sometimes a misheard lyric still makes sense.

My housemate slightly amused and incredulous to me as we're listening to David Bowie's Secret Life of Arabia, from the rather excellent Heroes.
"Did he just say 'the secret life of a labia?'"

Virgin Mary Costume 'Adult'

In the latest catalogue from Lombard, party shop, they have Christmas costumes. Inevitably the costumes for women are sexier than the ones for men. That is a subject explored by many other bloggers and columnists so I'll leave it to you to explore further.

This one is a little unexpected nonetheless. See through stripper heels on the Virgin Mary? Really?! It would have been better to have her barefoot if no appropriate shoes were available for the photo shoot. I hope that isn't part of the costume. My housemte suggested that it's probably a sneaky injoke.

Why do birds suddenly appear, every time Blake is near?

'What is the strange fascination with Blake Garvey? He is a handsome fellow and his shirt removals certainly reveal he has got what counts. But is it his looks? Is it the fact that his voice is so low that worms explode when he talks?'
Ben Pobjie about The Bachelor, The Age, September 4, 2014

The feminine wiles of aubergines.

My housemate grew one bootilicious aka callipygian (cal·li·pyg·i·an) aubergine last Summer.


I bought this one because I couldn't resist sharing her with you!

Ladies we should not be ashamed of our - or our fresh produce's - sexy parts. It's empowering to see female artists reclaiming female genitalia back from the censors and celebrating it as something beautiful, sensual and intimate. I'm not sure I'd want to wear it around my neck but to each her own!

Blurred Lines aka 'What rhymes with "hug me"?' - both nonsensical notions.

I know I'm late to the table on this one but my favourite dancer in my favourite performance from SYTYCD danced to 'Blurred Lines' by Robin Thicke. Upon looking into the track I read much controversy over both the lyrics and the clip (PG and a M+ version unsuitable for YouTube).

Having read the lyrics and watched all I could stand of both versions of the clips, as well as various parodies my conclusion is thus: you can get away with singing anything you want if you sing it in falsetto and he is a f*** wit with a good voice. The 'we're married with kids, this is tongue in cheek, have you no sense of humour?' line is bull$#!+

Just be honest Thicke: sex sells and if it's explicit you can rake in the $$$$$. You said it was a pleasure to degrade women in this clip becuse you usually respect women such as your wife. Respect of women is different to respecting a woman's authority. Also you mention that the British don't understand the humour of the clip yet you say it was inspired by Benny Hill. You do know he was English right? I think the reason they and the rest of us don't find it funny is because your clip isn't funny. Having topless women and a goat doesn't make a clip instantly funny. Then again I never thought Benny Hill was funny either but that's just me and my feminist ways (felt even before I understood what feminism is).

Thicke, in answer to
'You wanna hug me.
What rhymes with "hug me"?'
it isn't 'f*** me' unless you mispronounce f*** or hug. Whilst that works when composing couplets for a song because you control how it is pronounced, asking the listener to do so is onerous and clumsy. Suggested answers to your query are;
Bug me
Lug me
Jug me
Pug me
Rug me
Thug me
Snug me
Plug me
Drug me
Mug me
Tug me - is that what you're getting at? If so then okay, as you were.

I don't believe that the song endorses non-consensual sex but it's certainly not a healthy outlook and it does make arrogant assumptions. This is nothing new. The non-explicit lyrics are on the whole not much creepier/sexist than some of these other older song examples off the top of my head:
5ive
Depeche Mode
Billy Ocean
Sting and The Police
The difference? The clips and the lyrics are suggestive rather than outright pornographic or explicit. In the case of The Police this was so well done that most people think it's a love song and not about a controlling, manipulative stalker.

The explicit lyrics are unnecessarily disgusting and I can't believe this man is happily married ... yech. Then again he claims his wife is the one who told him to put out the explicit clip after he had misgivings about it.

Had Thicke not put out explicit versions of the clip and song it may have done just as well as it has and we wouldn't be having this discussion. I actually like the catchy melody with its 1970s funky flavour pseudo early Michael Jackson feel, the PG clip is inoffensive, but now knowing the lyrics and the attitude of the performer there is no way I would buy it.

Sunday 'Style'

I've got a terminal, proverbial, weaponed arthropod in my sunny day, head attire so I'm going to have a rant about it here. My beef is with this thing called 'fashion'. Witness the cover of Sunday Style, from the Herald Scum August 11, 2013:



This cover photo really bugged me. I'm indifferent to Maggie Gyllenhaal. It's as if the photographer, stylist and editor got together to try and publish a polished but totally unflattering image. Maggie is an average to prettish lass. This image makes her look pasty, boyishly weedy, curiously thin lipped and evil in A Clockwork Orange way. How does this invite the - predominantly female - readership to want to know more about her? Did they think she looked intriguing? [shrug] Is the undone pussybow blouse and lack of pants/skirt* teamed with fishnets an homage to her role in The Secretary? Why the upturned pudding bowl hair? Why anything really...

*  *  *

A senior fashion editor from Vogue Australia wrote the 'Trend I love...' column in the same issue citing this image as one to emulate. The fact that it looks awful on the model may put one off  from the 'bold athletic aesthetic' and 'some of the most striking pieces'. Is it actually bold to ignore the fact that a 'denim suit' is a term used in the fashion vernacular with derision? There's a good reason why the ones in the know usually recommend you mix your denim washes to avoid that look. It's too matchy-matchy and you tend to look like you're wearing overalls (oops too late!). No mention is made of that here.

The ill fitting, unflattering outfit 'heralds a new direction for one of fashion's ubiquitous garments'. Everyone who knows anything about style, knows that pleated pants are to be treated with caution or you will risk looking like you have stuffed a spare tyre down your pants. This look is repeated in various ensembles from the Balmain Resort Collection 2014**. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I prefer waistlines to appear smaller - not the same size - than hips and shoulders on women, possibly because that is the natural way of things. I think the jacket is well cut but the wash and buttons make it look cheap and bedazzled. Don't get me started on the dropped crotch thing.

*  *  *

It is for these reasons that this lift out should be called 'Fashion' or 'Now' or 'Trend' or something like that. 'Style' is not subject to the whims of what is considered fashionable. What is stylish isn't always fashionable but what is fashionable can be stylish. Being fashionable is highly overated. Being stylish is what everyone should aim for, young or old. It doesn't mean boring, and it doesn't mean old. It means understanding what shapes, fabrics and colours work for you. You wear things that speak to you, that make you feel happy, comfortable, elegant, strong, at your best in yourself. It takes years to figure this out, and I consider it a work in progress rather than a destination. While it can be useful to observe what is new in fashion for inspiration but don't be disheartened if it feels like it's aimed at someoneelse. It probably is!


*Lack of pants/skirt may be to highlight that thigh gap that is considered something to aspire to, particularly in certain circles.

**After looking through the whole collection I can safely say I don't like a single thing there. I am not the target demographic. Whatever.

Pride and Prejudice meets Twitter.

Original image from a Girl's Own Annual, Victorian era. I have slightly doctored the book to look like a Macbook and added text.

Street art: complementary balaclavas, Fitzroy

Fitzroy,October 2012
Sculptural street art near the Fitzroy Nursey. The Free Pussy Riot sticker/flyer was a recent addition at the time of this photo. At the time of posting however, it was gone.

Solo Chainsaw - Vintage Ad. 1969

A start so effortless, even a tamed model in a leopard print bathing suit can use it.

Clipping taken from some newspaper, found under some old vinyl flooring at my old family home in Melbourne.

"When are you going to have kids/get married?"

Christmas and Boxing Days: Food was good; Questions about 'When are you gonna have kids/get married?' not good. Especially since they came from people I barely know. One I don't even know her name and it was the first time I met her. My simple, polite answer is that I don't want kids. For the first person this sufficed. For the others I got a talking to that one day I might feel differently. I doubt it. Why this assumption that I want kids? I've known what I want for as long as I've been old enough to make that decision. I don't feel an innate desire to have them, neither does my partner and why is the activity or otherwise of my womb anyone else's f***ing business anyway?

It's like asking a person who owns a dog why they don't want to own a parrot instead. 'Your biology will change and you will want a parrot. When you're older you won't be so lonely with a parrot.' What if I just don't want a parrot? Why are you so hell bent on me joining your parrot owning club? I'm very happy with my dog thanks. Grrr.

I wasn't ready to be barraged as I was this afternoon. Usually simply saying I don't want kids is enough. Now that I've been turning the subject over in my head for a few hours now and ranting with my partner at least now I'm prepared for the next time it comes up. It will. I don't understand why some of my aquaintances have felt the need to bring it up more than once.

Next time I'm asked that I'll politely answer back
'Why do you assume that I want kids? I don't. It's my choice as an adult to make. I'd thank you to respect that and drop this subject'.

Kiwi Fruit Vine

These photographs are of the female kiwi fruit vine in our backyard. Her male counterpart isn't ready to fertilise her flowers yet. Hopefully he will have some mature flowers on him soon thus enabling our mature lady to have kids/fruit. Otherwise she is flowering in vain, unless there's another male in the neighbourhood.



It's a bit like the quintessential modern woman who is ready to have kids but her partner isn't mature enough yet for that to happen ... In the vine's defence he took a knocking during the drought and almost died, so he is growing as well as can be expected under the circumstances. She's all luscious and leafy and he's all thin and barely grown decent foliage. Perhaps she is encroaching on his area of the garden bed? [shrug]

We will help him along with food and water.

Then we will eat their kids!

[semi-evil chuckle]

[EDIT] I have made an iGoogle theme using these images and a desktop wall paper. Links to follow soon.

Lusty fabric

Lustre crepe fabric, image from the 1929 annual of The Draper of Australasia.
That's a sexy piece of drapery lying there and those ladies know it. Uh huh.

One Piece Bathers with Cut Outs - For Men!

Over the last couple of Summers, women's one piece bathers have featured saucy cut out sections for the slim, brave/fool hardy among us. You need to have the body of a model to pull that look off as you can see here.


Image from the 1929 annual of The Draper of Australasia
Smokin' hot or what? The Melford suit was also available in black trimmed with two red lines around the bottom hem which looked even smarter. No really!


You can feel the heat radiating from the glowing face of this Adonis.

In all seriousness though he is a buff chap/trio with fine pins!

Serving suggestions

Has anyone EVER eaten the serving size quoted in the nutritional contents panel on the packet of anything that comes in more than a single serve?
eg on a packet of water cracker dipping biscuits: serving size 15g, 6 biscuits.

I do feel a bit devil-may-care, naughty for always eating more than the nutritionally described serving size. Sometimes I'll eat the whole packet in one go!

How do they decide how much a serving is? Perhaps the manufacturer is legally obliged to recommend moderate consumption of what is often a processed and therefore unhealthy snack food. For me it always seems a unrealistically small serving and not very useful as dietary information. That's why, if I want to understand and compare the nutritional content I look at the per 100g information and think of that in percentages.

'The Art of Tidying', for girls in 1886,

A room that needs tidying.

‘One of the few anecdotes intended to prove a warning to my heedless youth, which I can now remember, related to the homely subject of tidying up. It was to this effect, and was short and sour. Miss Smith had long been engaged to be married to Mr Jones. That gentleman was invited to sleep a night at Mr Smith’s house, and coming down to breakfast he passed his intended wife’s bed-room, from which she had gone down, leaving the door wide open. There he saw such a scene of confusion that he felt sure his home would not be a comfortable one under Miss Smith’s management, and so he broke off the match.
“Mean man!” all you girls cry in chorus; and I am not the least commending Mr Jones’s behavior; I am merely telling you what effect on his conduct the sight of that untidy bed-room had.
My own view of untidiness is that it is an indication of a very inferior mind – a mind lacking in imagination, lacking in the sense of the appropriate, lacking in will-power.
…
It sees that the armchair cannot be used to sit on because a skirt lies across it; the floor cannot conveniently be trodden on because a wrap would trip up the feet; the sunshade must be removed before the smaller chair can be taken from the wall; and the children may catch their heedless little heads against the corners of the open drawers.
…
By acting thus the untidy girl shows herself lacking in the sense of the appropriate. I strongly suspect she is the kind of girl I meet with a fur cape on her shoulders in July, and thin summer shoes on her feet in December. In common language, she never knows “what’s what”.
…
Let it be every woman’s ambition to lead a perfectly beautiful life, and to do that she must try to cultivate a very beautiful mind; for surely we know that the outward is only a picture of the inward, and that a little drop of water can contain a miniature picture of the world; therefore all great results can be accomplished in a very small space, and every little life, in any humble sphere, be so exquisitely lived that it would be a fit subject for a poet’s verse, a painter’s picture of home-life, or a heart-refreshing biography from the pen of a loving friend.’

Image and extract from: Power, Helen, ‘The Art of Tidying’, Cassell’s Family Magazine (annual), 1886, p172-173

Franz Ferdinand and moshing

Franz Ferdinand at The Forum wasn't as exciting as I hoped. Perhaps I built them up too much.

A while back I read that Franz Ferdinand got together to create music to make girls dance and not have just have a bunch of guys moshing. The area closest to the stage was not a lady friendly zone - it was a mosh pit. I saw other women with slightly anxious looks on their faces as the guy/s closest to them bounced fiercely up and down like demented Masai warriors. I saw women back away and others try to make their partners stop moshing.

I don't mosh. It's intimidating being in the middle of it. Guys think it's alright to keep bumping into you. When I told one guy "Get off me!" because he sort of leaned and draped over me, he told me "Relax, it's a concert". His friends were pushy pricks too.

Saying that it reads like other fans spoiled FF for me doesn't it? Well they did. It went against what I had expected from such a gig. I think I would have had 100% fun if I could have gotten closer without being jumped on.

Depp on Letterman

In an interview with David Letterman, Johnny Depp about his 10 year old daughter
"I also see little boys starting to line up, to date my daughter ... and I fear for them."
*lol*