Tuesday, December 27, 2011

"When are you going to have kids/get married?"

Christmas and Boxing Days: Food was good; Questions about 'When are you gonna have kids/get married?' not good. Especially since they came from people I barely know. One I don't even know her name and it was the first time I met her. My simple, polite answer is that I don't want kids. For the first person this sufficed. For the others I got a talking to that one day I might feel differently. I doubt it. Why this assumption that I want kids? I've known what I want for as long as I've been old enough to make that decision. I don't feel an innate desire to have them, neither does my partner and why is the activity or otherwise of my womb anyone else's f***ing business anyway?

It's like asking a person who owns a dog why they don't want to own a parrot instead. 'Your biology will change and you will want a parrot. When you're older you won't be so lonely with a parrot.' What if I just don't want a parrot? Why are you so hell bent on me joining your parrot owning club? I'm very happy with my dog thanks. Grrr.

I wasn't ready to be barraged as I was this afternoon. Usually simply saying I don't want kids is enough. Now that I've been turning the subject over in my head for a few hours now and ranting with my partner at least now I'm prepared for the next time it comes up. It will. I don't understand why some of my aquaintances have felt the need to bring it up more than once.

Next time I'm asked that I'll politely answer back
'Why do you assume that I want kids? I don't. It's my choice as an adult to make. I'd thank you to respect that and drop this subject'.

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