Wednesday, July 27, 2005

The Real Thing

Listening to: ‘Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band’ by The Beatles

I don’t claim to be a connoisseur of fine good. There are some foods I’ve tried that are just wrong and it would be obvious from their description that they are crap. Like a ‘cabonara’ pasta box, that you microwave for 2 minutes. The so called cabonara sauce was an icky, bacon flavoured paste that would seem more at home coming out of a tube of toothpaste for dogs. Or the bun from a Yupi lolly hamburger that came with the kids' magazine at work. Just wrong.

You won’t find me trying are any of the recipes from a delightful book my dad just acquired. If he dares to dish up anything from this book there will be much protesting. I’d rather eat instant noodles than anything from: ‘Classic Cooking with Coca-Cola’ (by Elizabeth Candler Graham ‘Great-great-grandaughter of…founder of Coca-Cola’, and ‘Ralph Roberts…author of over forty books’). Not all of the recipes in here use Coke. Some use Sprite and other products made by the company. Unfortunately there are no pictures so you will have your your imagination. There’s a fair amount of gelatine and layers involved. Here’s some of the culinary delights listed:
O Australian BBQ Chicken - We have a style of chook that Southern Americans are aware of - WTF?
O Pirate Steak - Arrrr… bleargh
O Forgotten Stew - Speaks for itself
O Crabmeat Supreme – It’s as bad as it sounds. Think tomato soup, Coca-cola, cheddar cheese, 2 cans of crab meat, and still more cheese.
O Coca Cola Salad
O Congealed Vegetable Salad – Oh yes, the word ‘congealed’ always get my mouth watering. A lovely mix of orange Jello, Sprite, shredded carrots, green onions and celery.

And another thing…
Have concluded that poppy seeds are one of the most pointless foodstuffs. All they do is make things look pretty. Made two tuna salad rolls for lunch. One with sesame seeds and one with poppy seeds. Not only do poppy seeds have much less flavour, but they’re messy when stuck on the outside surface of a roll. Most of them fell off onto on my plate. Oh, and they get stuck in your teeth too easily.


Zak said...

Mmm mmm. Those recipe names sure do sound delicious.

Forgotten Stew? I doubt it was forgotten. Deliberately overlooked would be more like it.

And the mind boggles at a Coca Cola salad. Do you eat with a fork or drink it through a straw?

*hates poppy seeds*

Ozfemme said...

Great As for poppy seeds - I once had a bagel for lunch, with the little suckers on it, before a job interview. I had brushed my teeth intensely and checked and rechecked... yet, driving home after the interview I noticed whilst glanding in the rear-view mirror that I had one stuck between my front teeth.
I got the job funnily enough.

mark said...

Perhaps recipes is a bit strong of a description?! More like concoctions? :)