Proof…

…that clothing sizing happens within years not a life time.
You’ve heard about how clothing manufacturers adjust the sizing to (flatter our egos) account for the increase in size of the average person. These labels are off the same style of basic jean but bought years apart. The second one is too saggy now, due to it being stretch denim - it stretched right out of size. I had to buy an 8 this time around.

Old size 12, for waist 65cm, hip 90cm


New size 12, for waist 73cm, hip 98cm

Channeling Edward Scissorhands

It often feels that way when clipping and snipping at this ongoing project of mine. That's a good feeling, readers :) It's a kitten. The ears are taking a while to grow in. Over a year old now.

Engrish for your feel good

Mirror Mat is a sheet of pre-cut, mirror, mosaic-sized tiles with self-adhesive backing. If you choose to become a proud crafter of Mirror Mat be aware that:
‘It is made by the small parts, so please be cautious to small children’.
Possibly the only product made entirely by deviant*, Oompa Loompa prosthetic, factory workers. Or a great insult to the product’s Chinese factory workers’ size and skills [mock earnest nod]
One of the reasons you should buy this product is because:
‘It is a funky sticky!’

Relaxation Balls are a pair of hollow metal balls with two toned, internal chimes. They massage your hands and aid relaxation. An example of traditional Chinese therapy,
‘When the Healthy Ball came out it was used to improve physical conditions and mould temperament, and was popular among the people market.’
It was a failure with the marine mammal and farmyard animal markets due to a lack of hands in the targeted demographic.


*Hence the need for caution. Normal Oompa Loompas are entirely trustworthy…more so if they have their bodies with them.


In other news...

Danced to 'Question of Time' at Golgotha on Monday. That song rocks on the dancefloor! Wore a set of batwings I made especially for the night. Could feel them jiggling about on my back as I bouncily danced :)


Pic care of M.

Playing the Angel

Listening to: ‘Precious’ by Depeche Mode

The above luscious song is on high rotation. I won the album at the ‘Playing the Angel’ launch night @ Dream on Friday. Love it and ‘Suffer Well’. Every time I listen to those two I bliss out :) The synth and vocal arrangements remind me of ‘Violator’, which is one of my favourite DM albums. Now own 7 out of 11.



‘T was the best night I’ve had at Dream since the last pirate night. Great music, new atmospheric lighting/effects set up on the dance floor area, fine company…[happy sigh] Could have requested any DM song I wanted but I went blank. The next morning it popped into my head: ‘Question of Time’. Such a good track for dancing to. I’m surprised it isn’t played often. Not sure I’ve danced to it at a club before actually. Wish I’d put some thought into it during the week! It would have been the first time I requested something at Dream.


In other news…
Woke up and my first thought was that I missed M. He’s away in Sydney right now.

My day was ho hum: hanging up the family wash, hand washing my long gloves and red bustier from Friday, calling up my clients, going through some magazines and books my brother got from a dumpster the other day, pottering about on the computer for my business stuff. Then they arrived.

It’s our 3 month anniversary. M is so lovely and thoughtful. He had flowers sent to my house.

Up

Listening to: the washing machine

Revisited an old haunt of mine over the weekend.

It was recommended online by Viscera, from Dream, in response to a ‘I’d love to dance to…’ thread on the forum little over a month ago. In person she went on to say it was the only place where she danced and that the atmosphere was relaxed. Others online described a ‘cheese level’, as in; there is a level full of cheesy music. Cheese Gromit!

In some ways DV8 is just as I remembered it; virtually the same floor layout*, semi-festy loos, bogan element, on the first level music played so loud you worry about the long terms affects on your hearing, the occasional person wearing ear plugs…

We got there after 11 to discover the Cheese Level wasn’t going to open until 1. ‘Let’s wait,’ I said ‘It’s what we came for’.
My bourbon and coke tasted soapy so I sucked it down quickly rather than nursed it.

The 1st level has evolved into a metal/heavy-shit level. They used to play stuff like, The Offspring, Green Day, Soundgarden, Nirvana and Weezer. Not my favourite bands but I’ve bopped along to some of that sort of thing. I was certainly not expecting to hear the same stuff years later. While I liked a few of the tracks played the rest left me wanting to burrow into M’s shoulder/neck/arm pit (!) to escape it, feeling like my ears would start bleeding any moment. What a relief when they cracked open the Cheese.

It was as our friendly DJ described it. One of my measures of a good night out is dancing until you’re sweaty. I can’t vouch for M’s sister who also came along – and appeared to enjoy herself – but that’s exactly what we did.

*How much can it change?’ you ask. Quite significantly if you go by the old DJ booth @ Dream. It used to be in a little alcove above the lowel level dance floor. Now that overall space is a stage and the main dance floor is upstairs.
**Hehe, adding the word ‘original’ made me mentally cue ‘Original Sin’ by INXS :P

Lady Meerkat

Listening to 'Confused' Instrumental, by New Order

As myself ;) :P

Cut the cord

Listening to 'Leave in Silence', by Depeche Mode

Over a month ago I came to make peace with myself. I had been thinking about something for a few months. Finally I cut the cord. I acknowledged I was not going to ever be employed as a designer, despite my talents. It's been too long since I graduated, I don't know anyone etc... I realized I would do best to pursue my freelance visual merchandising career.

So I turfed most of my design mags that I'd been hoarding. There was about a shelf/box full. My father, as always lacking in perception or basic observation skills,
"Oh you're tidying up a bit."
Completely unquestioning as to why I'd be getting rid of just design magazines, which were originally around $15 each...

Have been meaning to mention this in my blog because it irked me that all he saw was the getting rid of stuff. He didn't see that I had let go of a dream and woken up to reality.

She's got the Look

Listening to 'I’m on my Way', by The Proclaimers

‘Walking like a man, hitting like a hammer
She's a juvenile scam, never was a quitter
Tasty like a raindrop she's got the look’

Sometime ago a friend said this is such a silly song, quoting the above lyrics, asking 'What does that mean?'

I provided an interpretation of it that went something like this:
A swaggering transvestite, with fighting skills
She's a young con artist, who won't leave you alone
Thirst quenching but leaving you wanting more, she's got the look

Clear as mud?

Capture

Listening to ‘The Riddle’ by Nik Kershaw

After work on Sunday, in preparation for night out at a film shoot I got changed in a toilet cubicle in Melbourne Central. I had just hoisted up my panty hose under my dress and slip when I noticed on the floor in the cubicle beside me, a pair of stumpy-fingered hands. They moved closer along the floor, some orange striped sneakers came into view, followed by a young, Mediterranean man’s face! Eep! I was too surprised to say anything, though I felt oddly calm about it all. As soon as his eyes met mine he disappeared and I couldn’t be buggered pursuing him. Creepy. Not sure if this is something I should report and to whom.

Met up with my man for dinner, then we went on to our goth friend’s film shoot. We were helping out by being part of the crowd for a club scene along with a good number of others from our online/offline goth community. Some of us obliged the camera by dancing. We danced a bit, had a few drinks, and candidly provided some goth couple cuteness for the camera. Awww ;)


In other news…
Was planning on photographing the windows I installed last week. This is best done in the morning. At this time the building across the street has diffused light on it, making its reflection easier to eliminate using my polariser. It's also before the sun creates shadows from the tree in front of the store. Which is before 10 am usually. Unfortunately today is a dull, overcast day. Will set my alarm again for Friday, hoping the light will be better.

The Lion King

Saw the stage show production tonight - bloody brilliant! Amazing what can be achieved with theatre know how. Had to stop myself trying to figure out how they did a few bits and just sit back in awe. Excellent exploration of puppetry and the possibilities of the human form integrating with a puppet. Beautifully stylised animals and characters, except for the meerkat dammit!

Not happy with the meerkat. The puppeteer was green and it diverted attention away from the bold orange puppet. It made them seem like 2 separate entities. I thought perhaps it would be because there would be a predominance of green background following the first scene with this character. When there was more green on stage it still didn’t work for me. It also looked more like the animated version. I was never keen on his look, despite raising common awareness of the existence of the charismatic critter.

There are still elements of the animated film in terms of Disneyness (?). They are the parts that slightly grate. However it's so much more than that.

When the music reached a crescendo, lighting, staging, sets, costumes and puppets worked together so beautifully, I felt goosebumps several times. Wonderful. The opening scene, the stampeding wildebeest valley scene, and father's voice from the stars scene were my favourites.

Un/Endorsements

Listening to: ‘Spinning the Wheel’ by George Michael

Tried Heinz ‘Very Special’ vegetable with barley canned soup for lunch. It isn’t anywhere near special let alone very special unless by special you mean ‘special’. In other words it’s crap. You may well be better off drinking rinse water from your dinner dishes, with perhaps a little salt added for extra ‘flavour’.

Part of my routine before work is to duck into Coles and buy something cheap, light, fresh, and healthy for my lunch. The winners are:
O Safcol tuna with lemon and pepper, on 2 sesame seed rolls with finely sliced celery
O Velish soups, pumpkin and sweet potato varieties, with a roll
O Bag of Coles, home brand Greek salad. Oh how I love Greek salad! This bag has everything you need. Cut open the main bag. Snip open the little bags of fetta, sliced up olives, dressing. Empty them into the main bag. Hold it closed and shake it about thoroughly. Tip onto a dinner plate and you’ve got a lovely, meal sized, stack of salad.


In other news…
...My drought has broken. [twinkle in her eye, small smile on her face] Lady Meerkat is no longer on the shelf...

...Have cranked up the preparations for my 30th birthday pirate party. This is the first party I’ve ever had for myself. Growing up we didn’t have birthday parties. I’m not sure why. I guess I didn’t have enough friends. As a child I didn’t get invited to any parties either. Sad, I know :P

I composed the invite in Illustrator, digitally cut out a pic of my favourite pirate (JD as Sparrow :D) in Photoshop, stuffed up the fold lines’ relationship with the text [shrug]. I hadn’t put enough thought into where they’d go you see. Duzzen madda it’s a party invite not a brochure! Made envelopes especially for the invites. Sealed then up with sealing wax, pressing a little button (I have an extensive collection) with a ship on it, into the hot wax. Am glad we don’t usually have to seal envelopes this way anymore. Goes from solid to drippy fizzling, then back to brittle solid very quickly.

My sister has taken it upon herself to help out which is great. In return she gets to invite her friends along, all of whom enjoy dressing up for themed parties. She has gone surfing the net for activities and ways to dress our house. She enjoys cooking and hosting parties. ‘T will be piratey fun. Have just started a picture for one of the party games. It’s only a modified tracing from a book rather than an original work of art. The idea behind it is completely mine. It should be a hoot!

The Real Thing

Listening to: ‘Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band’ by The Beatles

I don’t claim to be a connoisseur of fine good. There are some foods I’ve tried that are just wrong and it would be obvious from their description that they are crap. Like a ‘cabonara’ pasta box, that you microwave for 2 minutes. The so called cabonara sauce was an icky, bacon flavoured paste that would seem more at home coming out of a tube of toothpaste for dogs. Or the bun from a Yupi lolly hamburger that came with the kids' magazine at work. Just wrong.

You won’t find me trying are any of the recipes from a delightful book my dad just acquired. If he dares to dish up anything from this book there will be much protesting. I’d rather eat instant noodles than anything from: ‘Classic Cooking with Coca-Cola’ (by Elizabeth Candler Graham ‘Great-great-grandaughter of…founder of Coca-Cola’, and ‘Ralph Roberts…author of over forty books’). Not all of the recipes in here use Coke. Some use Sprite and other products made by the company. Unfortunately there are no pictures so you will have your your imagination. There’s a fair amount of gelatine and layers involved. Here’s some of the culinary delights listed:
O Australian BBQ Chicken - We have a style of chook that Southern Americans are aware of - WTF?
O Pirate Steak - Arrrr… bleargh
O Forgotten Stew - Speaks for itself
O Crabmeat Supreme – It’s as bad as it sounds. Think tomato soup, Coca-cola, cheddar cheese, 2 cans of crab meat, and still more cheese.
O Coca Cola Salad
O Congealed Vegetable Salad – Oh yes, the word ‘congealed’ always get my mouth watering. A lovely mix of orange Jello, Sprite, shredded carrots, green onions and celery.


And another thing…
Have concluded that poppy seeds are one of the most pointless foodstuffs. All they do is make things look pretty. Made two tuna salad rolls for lunch. One with sesame seeds and one with poppy seeds. Not only do poppy seeds have much less flavour, but they’re messy when stuck on the outside surface of a roll. Most of them fell off onto on my plate. Oh, and they get stuck in your teeth too easily.

Mole Rats.

If there was a prize for best opening line in a Natural History journal, this one is the winner:
‘It’s a subterranean dynasty ruled by a queen who, like her subjects, looks like a four-legged penis with a tail and buck teeth’*

Here’s the animal in question, the naked mole rat:


Here’s the super cute and perky Disney version from the cartoon series Kim Possible.



In my search for mole rats on the web I came across this rather sweet piccy I just had to share with you. A mole rat in the land of juicy chocolate turnips. Awww.... I lubs it :D



That concludes my posts containing extracts from this particular issue of Nature Australia (highly recommended reading).

* Pollard, Simon D., ‘Queens of the Desert’, Nature Australia, Spring 2004, page 72

Plastic Birds

The other day I read about blogs that deal with more important things than minutae of the author’s life. Political blogs, news blogs etc. This blog isn’t about to be one of those, but the following is something that has bugged me since I read about it. I want to share it with you. I feel it’s relevant considering my recent mention of pelicans.

Regular readers of this blog will be aware of my fascination with animal skeletons. I think they’re cool. This one isn’t cool. What you're looking at is a rib cage full of plastic.


Source*

Until I read this article I thought that plastic bags were the main problem when washed into stormwater drains, only affecting local/Australian wildlife. Think again. This sad little skeleton is evidence of something bigger than that. All plastic washing into stormwater drains, and into the sea is dangerous to wildlife - particularly to birds. What’s more it can swirl around in the sea for decades, spreading around the globe, breaking up into more pieces, spreading further still.

What's the story behind the skeletons? On Lord Howe Island a flesh-footed shearwater chick is too weakened by starvation to move away from humans. Its belly is full of plastic. How did this happen? Its parents would have ingested this plastic when finding food for their chick. When they regurgitated food they also regurgitated some of the plastic. While smaller pieces may pass through, others will sit inside the stomach, taking up room. Too much accumulated plastic and there’s no room for food.

After reading this article - and before typing this up for you today - I went out to the front of my house and into the back lane behind it, to clean up every bit of plastic I could find. Not just bags, but anything plastic. It was the least I could do and I will continue to do this on a regular basis. I will make a small difference to birdies/critters out there somewhere :)


In other news...
The days are getting longer now. Hooray, past the half way mark for Winter!


*Hutton Ian, ‘Plastic Perils for Seabirds’, Nature Australia, Spring 2004, page 58

Pelicans

Listening to: ‘Now You’re in Heaven’ by Julian Lennon

Am fighting the blues at the moment. Getting annoyed, but not showing it, with people a lot. Perhaps these people are actually annoying and I was comfortably numb before… Feeling dissatisfied with my appearance more often. Fiddling/adjusting with my clothes more often than is really required (probably). I will get through it.

I have things to be thankful for. Small, silly, and/or simple things still bring me happiness and contentment. For example on the train home from the dentist (small new filling and clean up) I saw four birds flying in a line. Slowly, as they came into better view, I saw they were pelicans. The sight of these beautifully large birds, so graceful in flight, moving against the grey sky made me feel happy. I’ve always found the sight of a flying pelican an uplifting sight. To see four was rather special :)

Rainy Day Activities

Had a great night out last night dressed up as a pirate. Much fun when dancing, to fluff about in glowing white shirt, a dangly sash belt, boots and a tricorn hat. [sings] Yo ho, yo ho a pirate's life for me. Tee hee :D

Today was a classic Winter's day in Melbourne. Like the Winters of my youth, it rained almost all day. So no soccer this week :( Even if it had been fine, my group has been a lazy bunch. They seem to have dispersed, or found girlfriends who won't let them kick a ball around for a couple of hours on Saturday :P Hopefully it will pick up in Spring.

Rainy Day Activities:
I got my exercise by taking a walk in he rain, under my enormous Bunning's umbrella.
Tidied a bit in my room, did some dusting.
Completed a collage I started months ago but had stashed away for a day such as this :)

Here 'tis:


Mutation
paper collage

70 Kinky Jelly Spheres aka KJS*

At work we sell rubber balls that make light and sound – think electronic laser gun/ explosion sounds - when you bounce them. 3 year olds like to play fetch with mum by throwing them about, usually out of the store. On such occasions these things bounce dangerously close to the balcony edge, threatening to roll off and brain some poor bugger on the escalator 2 storeys below.

Today I wrote off 70 of them. I initiated** taking our usable write offs to the Salvos, thus minimizing our waste. As I carted this bag of balls home tonight, my little brain got to thinking of the ways 3.15kg of rubber balls bursting out of the bag would be a bad thing/disastrous:
1. While going crossing the balcony level to escalators – could potentially drop 3 storeys to people on lower ground level. Would this cause serious injury? I’m not sure. I missed the episode on Mythbusters regarding things dropped from a height.
2. While on long escalators down to my platform. These things would probably fall even more uncontrollably oweing to the plethora of surfaces and edges. Chaos theory in action. [propellor head]
3. On platform while train comes in. Embarassing but probably no injuries.
4. While in packed train. No one gets concussed though potentially people could trip over them and roll their ankle. Ouchy. Oh yeah and my pride might be injured, because it might be really funny to spectators.
5. Walking up ramp from station. Everyone behind me would be in trouble! High potential for falls. My reaction would probably be “Holy crap! Stop!!”
6. Accosted by someone in the street. I’d swing the bag at them just before I scoot off. The explosion of rubber balls would surprise the accoster (is this a word?) plus it would foil pursuit of me :P
7. At my front gate. The least dangerous as well as the most annoying and likely of them all.


*I remember the product code for this product, KJS, by turning it into an acronym :) Everytime someone buys one, this runs through my head as I type in those letters :P
**Have also initiated recycling our bottles in food court bins instead of chucking out with rest of rubbish.

Full Circle?

[sulk]From my first goth club pirate night back in March, to my second one this Friday, I have come full circle. I’ve gone from not knowing anyone to knowing around a dozen or more. Yet, as last night proved for me, I can still feel just as left out and lonely in a crowded room.[/sulk]

Thank goodness for music worth dancing to. After all it was what brought me out in the first place. It’s what I continue to go out for, socializing comes second place, and it’s what gives me the most enjoyment from my club.

The dressing up part? [whine] Yes it’s fun but sometimes angsting about getting the right combination of skirt/hosiery/top/footwear isn’t. I can’t not care in such an environment. Even with everyday wear I find that I feel better about myself when I’m happy with my outfit. There’s this funky pair of B&W striped knee high socks I have that I’ve been trying to work into my outfit week after week but it never works damn it![/whine] I think I’ll resign them to house/bed socks.

Maybe it’s just the Winter Blues hitting me, or maybe it’s the scene. This disillusionment seems to be the norm among the former goths I’ve spoken to. You can have too much of a good thing. I have been going out every single week for the last month. After this week I’ll make myself scarce. Perhaps that will make it special again.


In other news…
I found out tonight that my late grandfather, who used to coach tennis, coached the only (or the first - I don’t follow the tennis) Indian to win Wimbledon!

Spam Tales II

Here's the one using a perfume ad. It reads:
trust hurts.
this makes it all better.
Cheryl Thug, Emergency Cash


Cheryl Thug
digital file


The original ad:

Spam Tales

Feeling lazy writing wise. Heres a bit of art I created a while ago from a series called Spam Tales. It reads:
'How Smart are YOU?'
'How close are you to being a genius?'
'Are you smarter than George Bush?'
Liguori Wunderlin, 'Millionaire Mentor Needs YOU', Generous Lender
YourBrain - 'Get paid for Yours'. 'Assured Life', 'Get a New Body for NO Money!'


Brain Transplant
paper collage, ink

Over a few months I compiled a list of interesting spam senders and titles. I mashed them into semi-coherent spiels then I came up with collages for each story. There were 5 in the series. 3 of them, this one included, were mainly composed of material from an late 19th C children's annual that was beyond repair. I doctored the images - for example the women were not so curvey - the old fashioned way, with a scalpel and ink! The other 2 used magazine ads for perfume and womens underwear :D