Bird Sticker at the Docklands, Melbourne

C'est la vie...

...That's life as a shy, colour blind, queer heart. It's like they channelled Freddie Mercury and completely missed the mark.

Ladies' t-shirt seen at Target.

Guinea pig bumper sticker

The cutest car sticker I've ever seen. It made me squee. I had to pull over and take a pic to share. I love the foreshortening and his happy little face.

Street art pimp my metal box

Signal box on Lygon Street, Carlton near bike track.


Fire Indicator Panel box (?) at Eckersley's Art shop in Franklin Street, Melbourne CBD. I didn't see the chameleon at first!


My favourite from the sticker collection at Eckersley's by Trimbles.

Blurred Lines aka 'What rhymes with "hug me"?' - both nonsensical notions.

I know I'm late to the table on this one but my favourite dancer in my favourite performance from SYTYCD danced to 'Blurred Lines' by Robin Thicke. Upon looking into the track I read much controversy over both the lyrics and the clip (PG and a M+ version unsuitable for YouTube).

Having read the lyrics and watched all I could stand of both versions of the clips, as well as various parodies my conclusion is thus: you can get away with singing anything you want if you sing it in falsetto and he is a f*** wit with a good voice. The 'we're married with kids, this is tongue in cheek, have you no sense of humour?' line is bull$#!+

Just be honest Thicke: sex sells and if it's explicit you can rake in the $$$$$. You said it was a pleasure to degrade women in this clip becuse you usually respect women such as your wife. Respect of women is different to respecting a woman's authority. Also you mention that the British don't understand the humour of the clip yet you say it was inspired by Benny Hill. You do know he was English right? I think the reason they and the rest of us don't find it funny is because your clip isn't funny. Having topless women and a goat doesn't make a clip instantly funny. Then again I never thought Benny Hill was funny either but that's just me and my feminist ways (felt even before I understood what feminism is).

Thicke, in answer to
'You wanna hug me.
What rhymes with "hug me"?'
it isn't 'f*** me' unless you mispronounce f*** or hug. Whilst that works when composing couplets for a song because you control how it is pronounced, asking the listener to do so is onerous and clumsy. Suggested answers to your query are;
Bug me
Lug me
Jug me
Pug me
Rug me
Thug me
Snug me
Plug me
Drug me
Mug me
Tug me - is that what you're getting at? If so then okay, as you were.

I don't believe that the song endorses non-consensual sex but it's certainly not a healthy outlook and it does make arrogant assumptions. This is nothing new. The non-explicit lyrics are on the whole not much creepier/sexist than some of these other older song examples off the top of my head:
5ive
Depeche Mode
Billy Ocean
Sting and The Police
The difference? The clips and the lyrics are suggestive rather than outright pornographic or explicit. In the case of The Police this was so well done that most people think it's a love song and not about a controlling, manipulative stalker.

The explicit lyrics are unnecessarily disgusting and I can't believe this man is happily married ... yech. Then again he claims his wife is the one who told him to put out the explicit clip after he had misgivings about it.

Had Thicke not put out explicit versions of the clip and song it may have done just as well as it has and we wouldn't be having this discussion. I actually like the catchy melody with its 1970s funky flavour pseudo early Michael Jackson feel, the PG clip is inoffensive, but now knowing the lyrics and the attitude of the performer there is no way I would buy it.

Word Salad / Band Names

Throughout and beyond my relationship with J we have enjoyed playing with words, learning new ones, and recombining common phrases or ideas into sources of amusement. One of the things he taught me was band names ie. curious phrase, word combination results in "That would be a good name for a band" - either because it sounds cool, or it's so silly/funny it could work for the right act. Since I got J's old i-phone 4 I've been taking note of them for posterity to share here. I know this concept isn't unique to us. If I bothered to Google* it maybe there's a whole site/community/twitter feed dedicated to it. No matter. You're welcome :)
I've also added how the origin/context of the phrase if it isn't self explanatory and I can remember it.

Ox Blood Goat (trying to recall the word for the colour, misfiring it as ox gall and being misheard as goat)
Left Curve (road sign)
Arm Fart 
Random Kebab (comment after seeing many kebab caravans in an area)
Oozy Crumpet (with honey and butter)
Joffrey and the Oozy Crumpets (had been watching GoT)
Plush Tuxedo (my description of Fonzie the Cardigan Corgi's coat/markings)
Death Burp (discussion about preserving olives)
Death Fart
Smurf Jerky (may have followed a discussion about the crapness of Avatar and how it ends?)
Decaf Goon. (was talking about coffee...)
Fridge Funk (J's shared fridge emanates a stink) 
Segregated Pumpkin (J roasted some organic and not-organically grown pumpkin on seperate trays)

Feel free to use any of them - let me know and send me a link if you do!

*I would get this sort of thing.

Two knights kissing on a gravestone

I'm not sure why.

I tried reading some of the back story but it still didn't make sense. I understand that they must have been happy to see each other. I wasn't aware that heterosexual men used to kiss each other on the mouth at all, let alone for this reason. That said, my knowledge of medieval history could be written on a large postage stamp in small letters.


"They took off their helms and kissed each other"

Sir Tristram of Lyonesse
'...At last the knight clad in white spoke, and said:
"Knight,thou fightest wonderfully well, as ever I saw knight, therefore, if it please you, tell me your name."
"Sir," said Sir Tristram, "I am loath to tell any man my name."
"Truly," said the stranger, "if ever I were required, I was never loath to tell my name."
"It is well said," quoth Tristram; "then I require you to tell me your name."
"Fair knight," said he, "my name is Sir Lancelot of the Lake."
"Alas," said Tristram, "what have I done? For you are the man in the world I love the best."
"Fair knight," said Sir Lancelot, "tell me your name."
"Truly, my name is Sir Tristram."
"Oh," said Sir Lancelot, "what adventure is befallen me!" ...
...Then forthwith they went to the tombstone, and sat down on it, and took off their helms, and kissed each other. And afterwards they rode to Camelot.'

Image by A.G. Walker (sculptor). Text from Sunday Reading for the Young, Wells Gardner, Darton and CO, London 1905

Captain Ketchup versus the Intergalactic Dutch Oven

Captain Ketchup novelty sauce squirting bottle has a funny side panel.

Make your own home grown seed packs

Cut open and save the individual paper sachets from tea bags. Reuse them as packets for your collected garden seeds.

Erewhon by Samuel Butler

'If the letters forming the word "Nowhere" are reversed, all except the "wh", regarding them as a sound in themselves, they will be found to make the word "Erewhon". This is the name given by an author named Samuel Butler ... to a book he wrote about an imaginary country. Sir Thomas More had also used the made-up Greek word Utopia, also meaning "nowhere", for the name of man imaginary land.

Like many before him, Butler saw that some established customs and ideas of his own day were foolish. And in picturing such a place as Erewhon, he found it easier to satirise such things. Sam Butler was a young man out in New Zealand...'



'... Pushing on alone, the explorer suffered many perils, and became haunted by the sound of distant music, which prevented sleep and was quite unaccounted for. Having a glimpse of distant plains, he struggled on hoping to reach them, only to find himself enshrouded in mist. Suddenly there loomed up in front of him some gigantic figures, still and silent, but in human shape. After his first alarm was over (when he lost consciousness), he realised that he had come upon a sort of Stonehenge. Ten huge stone figures, partly covered in snow, stood in a group ; their heads were hollow, and acted as organ-pipes. The wind rushing out through their mouths made the ghostly music he had heard earlier. This was the entrance to the kingdom of Erewhon, and he heard later that at a very remote period in the people's history these statues had been put up to propitiate* the gods of disease...



...It is a modern attempt to portray an imaginary country by one who saw the folly of many things. It is an idea that has fascinated men all through the ages, and will doubtless continue to do so, and many books may yet be written dealing with such "Lands of Desire"

Free to download/read copies of  'Erewhon' by Samuel Butler http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erewhon can be found here and here.

*I had to look this up! Was this a word used by kids back then? Colour me impressed by the quality of education and breadth of resulting vocabulary.

Image and text by Ruth Cobb from children's annual Chatterbox, J Erskine Clarke MA, Wells Gardner, Darton and CO, London 1927

Cupcake Wreck

Outside a Cupcake Bakery. A late 30s/early 40s woman and her male companion are checking out the window display. She says
"It looks like poo. It looks like poo upside down."
After they went I checked out the display and could only conclude it was this.



At first I thought she meant the turdish blob* on the top which made me wonder if there was a right way up for poo. When looking at the photo after uploading it I realised she was probably talking about the word 'Dad' on the side - it's Fathers' Day tomorrow.



*What is that anyway? It looks like a complete male appendage with an accoutrement on one end. It's how a man becomes a dad so that works doesn't it?
EDIT: A bit of research has revealed it is a tie! Of course it is. I think that shape around the word poo is a shirt pocket. Though if you're looking at this upside down it's a house. This all ties in rather nicely because clearly the cake decorating skills on display here are s***house.

Sunday 'Style'

I've got a terminal, proverbial, weaponed arthropod in my sunny day, head attire so I'm going to have a rant about it here. My beef is with this thing called 'fashion'. Witness the cover of Sunday Style, from the Herald Scum August 11, 2013:



This cover photo really bugged me. I'm indifferent to Maggie Gyllenhaal. It's as if the photographer, stylist and editor got together to try and publish a polished but totally unflattering image. Maggie is an average to prettish lass. This image makes her look pasty, boyishly weedy, curiously thin lipped and evil in A Clockwork Orange way. How does this invite the - predominantly female - readership to want to know more about her? Did they think she looked intriguing? [shrug] Is the undone pussybow blouse and lack of pants/skirt* teamed with fishnets an homage to her role in The Secretary? Why the upturned pudding bowl hair? Why anything really...

*  *  *

A senior fashion editor from Vogue Australia wrote the 'Trend I love...' column in the same issue citing this image as one to emulate. The fact that it looks awful on the model may put one off  from the 'bold athletic aesthetic' and 'some of the most striking pieces'. Is it actually bold to ignore the fact that a 'denim suit' is a term used in the fashion vernacular with derision? There's a good reason why the ones in the know usually recommend you mix your denim washes to avoid that look. It's too matchy-matchy and you tend to look like you're wearing overalls (oops too late!). No mention is made of that here.

The ill fitting, unflattering outfit 'heralds a new direction for one of fashion's ubiquitous garments'. Everyone who knows anything about style, knows that pleated pants are to be treated with caution or you will risk looking like you have stuffed a spare tyre down your pants. This look is repeated in various ensembles from the Balmain Resort Collection 2014**. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I prefer waistlines to appear smaller - not the same size - than hips and shoulders on women, possibly because that is the natural way of things. I think the jacket is well cut but the wash and buttons make it look cheap and bedazzled. Don't get me started on the dropped crotch thing.

*  *  *

It is for these reasons that this lift out should be called 'Fashion' or 'Now' or 'Trend' or something like that. 'Style' is not subject to the whims of what is considered fashionable. What is stylish isn't always fashionable but what is fashionable can be stylish. Being fashionable is highly overated. Being stylish is what everyone should aim for, young or old. It doesn't mean boring, and it doesn't mean old. It means understanding what shapes, fabrics and colours work for you. You wear things that speak to you, that make you feel happy, comfortable, elegant, strong, at your best in yourself. It takes years to figure this out, and I consider it a work in progress rather than a destination. While it can be useful to observe what is new in fashion for inspiration but don't be disheartened if it feels like it's aimed at someoneelse. It probably is!


*Lack of pants/skirt may be to highlight that thigh gap that is considered something to aspire to, particularly in certain circles.

**After looking through the whole collection I can safely say I don't like a single thing there. I am not the target demographic. Whatever.

We built this sausage.

[singing to the tune of Starship's We Built This City]

We built this sausage!
We built this sausage.
We built this sausage in a sauuusaaage roooooOOOooll.

Someone's always playing delicatesan games.
Who cares they're always changing delicatesan names.
We just want some small goods. Someone cut the line.
Why can't they take a number - just like everyone else?!


I'm gonna place my order, so listen here deariooo.
I'd like a kilo, of chorizo, please oh

Homemade white fly sticky trap

Essentially all you need is something yellow, weather resistant and sticky with a decent surface area. The whiteflies are attracted to bright yellow and orange.

We found some plywood frog cutouts at the last hard waste collection as well as some yellow enamel paint. I combined the two with a spike made from some broken garden lattice.Obviously it will still work if its a plain old rectangle but I had the frogs so why not make them ornamental?

I tried painting used motor oil onto them to act as a sticky surface but it wasn't particularly sticky, it ran down it and was a bit dark. Smearing it with an old pot of vaseline based lip balm worked a treat as pictured.

Signal box in North Fitzroy by Kaff-eine

Traffic signal box by Kaff-eine.

BunnyGirl

If this unicorn looks familiar, I have previously posted a detail of a piece by Kaff-eine.

Kaff-eine's style is quite distinct - fluid yet controlled linework, a colour palette favouring the complementary contrast of blue/purple with yellow/orange, subtle tonal sculpting, simple, effective composition.  She also seems to like horses and their ilk. I've seen a few of her other pieces in Melbourne's north.  See more of  her art here.

Benjamin Robert Haydon and the Elgin Marbles

'The ambition of Benjamin Robert Haydon was to be a great painter,and he believed that he achieved it *... What is he is remembered for to-day (sic) is his journal, which he kept practically all his life.'

'His custom of taking casts of his friends' faces was sometimes rather dangerous to the sitters, and they were nearly suffocated.'

'Lord Elgin ... saw with distress how the marvellous sculptures by Phidias, decorating the Acropolis at Athens, were being neglected and destroyed. They were rescued by his agents, and brought to London. The incident caused a great stir, and there was much difference of opinion about the statues. Haydon saw their beauty, recognising the sublime in art. He took up the defence of the Elgin Marbles vigorously, and it was really due to him that after a parliamentary inquiry they were bought for the Nation, and are now in the British Museum. He obtained leave somehow to make casts of some of the figures.

"16th November, 1815. I hurried away for a plaster man! As I was passing Prince's Street, I passed two inside a shop moulding. I darted in, and said: 'Get some sacks of plaster, and a cart, and follow me. I'll put money in your pocket.' They obeyed me directly. As we got down at Burlington House I said: 'Now, lads, as soon as this gets wind we shall be stopped, so work away.' They took fire, for with Italian quickness they perceived the truth...

...So we went on up to 8th December: when they alarmed Lord Elgin ... it was too late, the cream of the collection was secured." The casts were afterwards sold to Russia.'

Image and text by Ruth Cobb from children's annual Chatterbox, J Erskine Clarke MA, Wells Gardner, Darton and CO, London 1927

*The fact that he is in major art collections like the Tate's suggests that he was at least better than 'mediocre' as the text by Ruth Cobbs describes. These days the mediocre artist is unlikely to enjoy such a priviledge.

The Great Whale Leaps

THE GREAT WHALE LEAPS

It looks like a sperm whale which are not known to completely clear the water when they breach - at least not as adults. A bit of artistic license taken by GS Brien.

Image by GS Brien from children's annual Chatterbox, J Erskine Clarke MA, Wells Gardner, Darton and CO, London 1927

Good book, cosy nook...

"A GOOD BOOK IN A COSY NOOK"
If the illustation was intended to illustrate the exact opposite of what the caption says then: Well played Winifred *lol*! I didn't know they used quotation marks sarcastically back in the '20s. You learn something new everyday...

Image by Winifred Barham from children's annual Chatterbox, J Erskine Clarke MA, Wells Gardner, Darton and CO, London 1927

Slugs and Snails: Make a Beer Baited Slug Trap Mark II

I made this one using an instant noodle container and an Aqua Spike. I used my Dremel to drill a hole for the spike, to hold the roof up. The dremel helped me to add a bit of artistic flair by engraving the roof. It reads: 'The Drunken Slug Inn. Snails welcome.' and the 'S' in slug is a slug :)




Like the Mark I it seems to be most attractive to slugs rather than snails. So how do we deal with snails?



My housemate planted some cyclamens. She would usually scatter snail pellets around new plants like these but it hasn't been necessary. I had read that coffee grounds can be an effective snail deterrent so we've been scattering that closely around these new plants instead. Additionally, the grounds are a good soil conditioner. We would usually broadcast the grounds over the mulch. It feels good to use gentle, organic pest control that won't linger in the foodchain.

Dancing bears sticker

Not sure what this means.

Spotted on top of a post at pedestrian crossing near Victoria Market, Melbourne CBD