Listening to: ‘Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band’ by The Beatles
I don’t claim to be a connoisseur of fine good. There are some foods I’ve tried that are just wrong and it would be obvious from their description that they are crap. Like a ‘cabonara’ pasta box, that you microwave for 2 minutes. The so called cabonara sauce was an icky, bacon flavoured paste that would seem more at home coming out of a tube of toothpaste for dogs. Or the bun from a Yupi lolly hamburger that came with the kids' magazine at work. Just wrong.
You won’t find me trying are any of the recipes from a delightful book my dad just acquired. If he dares to dish up anything from this book there will be much protesting. I’d rather eat instant noodles than anything from: ‘Classic Cooking with Coca-Cola’ (by Elizabeth Candler Graham ‘Great-great-grandaughter of…founder of Coca-Cola’, and ‘Ralph Roberts…author of over forty books’). Not all of the recipes in here use Coke. Some use Sprite and other products made by the company. Unfortunately there are no pictures so you will have your your imagination. There’s a fair amount of gelatine and layers involved. Here’s some of the culinary delights listed:
O Australian BBQ Chicken - We have a style of chook that Southern Americans are aware of - WTF?
O Pirate Steak - Arrrr… bleargh
O Forgotten Stew - Speaks for itself
O Crabmeat Supreme – It’s as bad as it sounds. Think tomato soup, Coca-cola, cheddar cheese, 2 cans of crab meat, and still more cheese.
O Coca Cola Salad
O Congealed Vegetable Salad – Oh yes, the word ‘congealed’ always get my mouth watering. A lovely mix of orange Jello, Sprite, shredded carrots, green onions and celery.
And another thing…
Have concluded that poppy seeds are one of the most pointless foodstuffs. All they do is make things look pretty. Made two tuna salad rolls for lunch. One with sesame seeds and one with poppy seeds. Not only do poppy seeds have much less flavour, but they’re messy when stuck on the outside surface of a roll. Most of them fell off onto on my plate. Oh, and they get stuck in your teeth too easily.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Mole Rats.
If there was a prize for best opening line in a Natural History journal, this one is the winner:
‘It’s a subterranean dynasty ruled by a queen who, like her subjects, looks like a four-legged penis with a tail and buck teeth’*
Here’s the animal in question, the naked mole rat:
Here’s the super cute and perky Disney version from the cartoon series Kim Possible.
In my search for mole rats on the web I came across this rather sweet piccy I just had to share with you. A mole rat in the land of juicy chocolate turnips. Awww.... I lubs it :D
That concludes my posts containing extracts from this particular issue of Nature Australia (highly recommended reading).
* Pollard, Simon D., ‘Queens of the Desert’, Nature Australia, Spring 2004, page 72
‘It’s a subterranean dynasty ruled by a queen who, like her subjects, looks like a four-legged penis with a tail and buck teeth’*
Here’s the animal in question, the naked mole rat:
Here’s the super cute and perky Disney version from the cartoon series Kim Possible.
In my search for mole rats on the web I came across this rather sweet piccy I just had to share with you. A mole rat in the land of juicy chocolate turnips. Awww.... I lubs it :D
That concludes my posts containing extracts from this particular issue of Nature Australia (highly recommended reading).
* Pollard, Simon D., ‘Queens of the Desert’, Nature Australia, Spring 2004, page 72
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Plastic Birds
The other day I read about blogs that deal with more important things than minutae of the author’s life. Political blogs, news blogs etc. This blog isn’t about to be one of those, but the following is something that has bugged me since I read about it. I want to share it with you. I feel it’s relevant considering my recent mention of pelicans.
Regular readers of this blog will be aware of my fascination with animal skeletons. I think they’re cool. This one isn’t cool. What you're looking at is a rib cage full of plastic.
Source*
Until I read this article I thought that plastic bags were the main problem when washed into stormwater drains, only affecting local/Australian wildlife. Think again. This sad little skeleton is evidence of something bigger than that. All plastic washing into stormwater drains, and into the sea is dangerous to wildlife - particularly to birds. What’s more it can swirl around in the sea for decades, spreading around the globe, breaking up into more pieces, spreading further still.
What's the story behind the skeletons? On Lord Howe Island a flesh-footed shearwater chick is too weakened by starvation to move away from humans. Its belly is full of plastic. How did this happen? Its parents would have ingested this plastic when finding food for their chick. When they regurgitated food they also regurgitated some of the plastic. While smaller pieces may pass through, others will sit inside the stomach, taking up room. Too much accumulated plastic and there’s no room for food.
After reading this article - and before typing this up for you today - I went out to the front of my house and into the back lane behind it, to clean up every bit of plastic I could find. Not just bags, but anything plastic. It was the least I could do and I will continue to do this on a regular basis. I will make a small difference to birdies/critters out there somewhere :)
In other news...
The days are getting longer now. Hooray, past the half way mark for Winter!
*Hutton Ian, ‘Plastic Perils for Seabirds’, Nature Australia, Spring 2004, page 58
Regular readers of this blog will be aware of my fascination with animal skeletons. I think they’re cool. This one isn’t cool. What you're looking at is a rib cage full of plastic.
Source*
Until I read this article I thought that plastic bags were the main problem when washed into stormwater drains, only affecting local/Australian wildlife. Think again. This sad little skeleton is evidence of something bigger than that. All plastic washing into stormwater drains, and into the sea is dangerous to wildlife - particularly to birds. What’s more it can swirl around in the sea for decades, spreading around the globe, breaking up into more pieces, spreading further still.
What's the story behind the skeletons? On Lord Howe Island a flesh-footed shearwater chick is too weakened by starvation to move away from humans. Its belly is full of plastic. How did this happen? Its parents would have ingested this plastic when finding food for their chick. When they regurgitated food they also regurgitated some of the plastic. While smaller pieces may pass through, others will sit inside the stomach, taking up room. Too much accumulated plastic and there’s no room for food.
After reading this article - and before typing this up for you today - I went out to the front of my house and into the back lane behind it, to clean up every bit of plastic I could find. Not just bags, but anything plastic. It was the least I could do and I will continue to do this on a regular basis. I will make a small difference to birdies/critters out there somewhere :)
In other news...
The days are getting longer now. Hooray, past the half way mark for Winter!
*Hutton Ian, ‘Plastic Perils for Seabirds’, Nature Australia, Spring 2004, page 58
Friday, July 15, 2005
Pelicans
Listening to: ‘Now You’re in Heaven’ by Julian Lennon
Am fighting the blues at the moment. Getting annoyed, but not showing it, with people a lot. Perhaps these people are actually annoying and I was comfortably numb before… Feeling dissatisfied with my appearance more often. Fiddling/adjusting with my clothes more often than is really required (probably). I will get through it.
I have things to be thankful for. Small, silly, and/or simple things still bring me happiness and contentment. For example on the train home from the dentist (small new filling and clean up) I saw four birds flying in a line. Slowly, as they came into better view, I saw they were pelicans. The sight of these beautifully large birds, so graceful in flight, moving against the grey sky made me feel happy. I’ve always found the sight of a flying pelican an uplifting sight. To see four was rather special :)
Am fighting the blues at the moment. Getting annoyed, but not showing it, with people a lot. Perhaps these people are actually annoying and I was comfortably numb before… Feeling dissatisfied with my appearance more often. Fiddling/adjusting with my clothes more often than is really required (probably). I will get through it.
I have things to be thankful for. Small, silly, and/or simple things still bring me happiness and contentment. For example on the train home from the dentist (small new filling and clean up) I saw four birds flying in a line. Slowly, as they came into better view, I saw they were pelicans. The sight of these beautifully large birds, so graceful in flight, moving against the grey sky made me feel happy. I’ve always found the sight of a flying pelican an uplifting sight. To see four was rather special :)
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Rainy Day Activities
Had a great night out last night dressed up as a pirate. Much fun when dancing, to fluff about in glowing white shirt, a dangly sash belt, boots and a tricorn hat. [sings] Yo ho, yo ho a pirate's life for me. Tee hee :D
Today was a classic Winter's day in Melbourne. Like the Winters of my youth, it rained almost all day. So no soccer this week :( Even if it had been fine, my group has been a lazy bunch. They seem to have dispersed, or found girlfriends who won't let them kick a ball around for a couple of hours on Saturday :P Hopefully it will pick up in Spring.
Rainy Day Activities:
I got my exercise by taking a walk in he rain, under my enormous Bunning's umbrella.
Tidied a bit in my room, did some dusting.
Completed a collage I started months ago but had stashed away for a day such as this :)
Here 'tis:
Mutation
paper collage
Today was a classic Winter's day in Melbourne. Like the Winters of my youth, it rained almost all day. So no soccer this week :( Even if it had been fine, my group has been a lazy bunch. They seem to have dispersed, or found girlfriends who won't let them kick a ball around for a couple of hours on Saturday :P Hopefully it will pick up in Spring.
Rainy Day Activities:
I got my exercise by taking a walk in he rain, under my enormous Bunning's umbrella.
Tidied a bit in my room, did some dusting.
Completed a collage I started months ago but had stashed away for a day such as this :)
Here 'tis:
Mutation
paper collage
Monday, July 04, 2005
70 Kinky Jelly Spheres aka KJS*
At work we sell rubber balls that make light and sound – think electronic laser gun/ explosion sounds - when you bounce them. 3 year olds like to play fetch with mum by throwing them about, usually out of the store. On such occasions these things bounce dangerously close to the balcony edge, threatening to roll off and brain some poor bugger on the escalator 2 storeys below.
Today I wrote off 70 of them. I initiated** taking our usable write offs to the Salvos, thus minimizing our waste. As I carted this bag of balls home tonight, my little brain got to thinking of the ways 3.15kg of rubber balls bursting out of the bag would be a bad thing/disastrous:
1. While going crossing the balcony level to escalators – could potentially drop 3 storeys to people on lower ground level. Would this cause serious injury? I’m not sure. I missed the episode on Mythbusters regarding things dropped from a height.
2. While on long escalators down to my platform. These things would probably fall even more uncontrollably oweing to the plethora of surfaces and edges. Chaos theory in action. [propellor head]
3. On platform while train comes in. Embarassing but probably no injuries.
4. While in packed train. No one gets concussed though potentially people could trip over them and roll their ankle. Ouchy. Oh yeah and my pride might be injured, because it might be really funny to spectators.
5. Walking up ramp from station. Everyone behind me would be in trouble! High potential for falls. My reaction would probably be “Holy crap! Stop!!”
6. Accosted by someone in the street. I’d swing the bag at them just before I scoot off. The explosion of rubber balls would surprise the accoster (is this a word?) plus it would foil pursuit of me :P
7. At my front gate. The least dangerous as well as the most annoying and likely of them all.
*I remember the product code for this product, KJS, by turning it into an acronym :) Everytime someone buys one, this runs through my head as I type in those letters :P
**Have also initiated recycling our bottles in food court bins instead of chucking out with rest of rubbish.
Today I wrote off 70 of them. I initiated** taking our usable write offs to the Salvos, thus minimizing our waste. As I carted this bag of balls home tonight, my little brain got to thinking of the ways 3.15kg of rubber balls bursting out of the bag would be a bad thing/disastrous:
1. While going crossing the balcony level to escalators – could potentially drop 3 storeys to people on lower ground level. Would this cause serious injury? I’m not sure. I missed the episode on Mythbusters regarding things dropped from a height.
2. While on long escalators down to my platform. These things would probably fall even more uncontrollably oweing to the plethora of surfaces and edges. Chaos theory in action. [propellor head]
3. On platform while train comes in. Embarassing but probably no injuries.
4. While in packed train. No one gets concussed though potentially people could trip over them and roll their ankle. Ouchy. Oh yeah and my pride might be injured, because it might be really funny to spectators.
5. Walking up ramp from station. Everyone behind me would be in trouble! High potential for falls. My reaction would probably be “Holy crap! Stop!!”
6. Accosted by someone in the street. I’d swing the bag at them just before I scoot off. The explosion of rubber balls would surprise the accoster (is this a word?) plus it would foil pursuit of me :P
7. At my front gate. The least dangerous as well as the most annoying and likely of them all.
*I remember the product code for this product, KJS, by turning it into an acronym :) Everytime someone buys one, this runs through my head as I type in those letters :P
**Have also initiated recycling our bottles in food court bins instead of chucking out with rest of rubbish.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Full Circle?
[sulk]From my first goth club pirate night back in March, to my second one this Friday, I have come full circle. I’ve gone from not knowing anyone to knowing around a dozen or more. Yet, as last night proved for me, I can still feel just as left out and lonely in a crowded room.[/sulk]
Thank goodness for music worth dancing to. After all it was what brought me out in the first place. It’s what I continue to go out for, socializing comes second place, and it’s what gives me the most enjoyment from my club.
The dressing up part? [whine] Yes it’s fun but sometimes angsting about getting the right combination of skirt/hosiery/top/footwear isn’t. I can’t not care in such an environment. Even with everyday wear I find that I feel better about myself when I’m happy with my outfit. There’s this funky pair of B&W striped knee high socks I have that I’ve been trying to work into my outfit week after week but it never works damn it![/whine] I think I’ll resign them to house/bed socks.
Maybe it’s just the Winter Blues hitting me, or maybe it’s the scene. This disillusionment seems to be the norm among the former goths I’ve spoken to. You can have too much of a good thing. I have been going out every single week for the last month. After this week I’ll make myself scarce. Perhaps that will make it special again.
In other news…
I found out tonight that my late grandfather, who used to coach tennis, coached the only (or the first - I don’t follow the tennis) Indian to win Wimbledon!
Thank goodness for music worth dancing to. After all it was what brought me out in the first place. It’s what I continue to go out for, socializing comes second place, and it’s what gives me the most enjoyment from my club.
The dressing up part? [whine] Yes it’s fun but sometimes angsting about getting the right combination of skirt/hosiery/top/footwear isn’t. I can’t not care in such an environment. Even with everyday wear I find that I feel better about myself when I’m happy with my outfit. There’s this funky pair of B&W striped knee high socks I have that I’ve been trying to work into my outfit week after week but it never works damn it![/whine] I think I’ll resign them to house/bed socks.
Maybe it’s just the Winter Blues hitting me, or maybe it’s the scene. This disillusionment seems to be the norm among the former goths I’ve spoken to. You can have too much of a good thing. I have been going out every single week for the last month. After this week I’ll make myself scarce. Perhaps that will make it special again.
In other news…
I found out tonight that my late grandfather, who used to coach tennis, coached the only (or the first - I don’t follow the tennis) Indian to win Wimbledon!
Spam Tales II
Here's the one using a perfume ad. It reads:
trust hurts.
this makes it all better.
Cheryl Thug, Emergency Cash
Cheryl Thug
digital file
The original ad:
trust hurts.
this makes it all better.
Cheryl Thug, Emergency Cash
Cheryl Thug
digital file
The original ad:
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Spam Tales
Feeling lazy writing wise. Heres a bit of art I created a while ago from a series called Spam Tales. It reads:
'How Smart are YOU?'
'How close are you to being a genius?'
'Are you smarter than George Bush?'
Liguori Wunderlin, 'Millionaire Mentor Needs YOU', Generous Lender
YourBrain - 'Get paid for Yours'. 'Assured Life', 'Get a New Body for NO Money!'
Brain Transplant
paper collage, ink
Over a few months I compiled a list of interesting spam senders and titles. I mashed them into semi-coherent spiels then I came up with collages for each story. There were 5 in the series. 3 of them, this one included, were mainly composed of material from an late 19th C children's annual that was beyond repair. I doctored the images - for example the women were not so curvey - the old fashioned way, with a scalpel and ink! The other 2 used magazine ads for perfume and womens underwear :D
'How Smart are YOU?'
'How close are you to being a genius?'
'Are you smarter than George Bush?'
Liguori Wunderlin, 'Millionaire Mentor Needs YOU', Generous Lender
YourBrain - 'Get paid for Yours'. 'Assured Life', 'Get a New Body for NO Money!'
Brain Transplant
paper collage, ink
Over a few months I compiled a list of interesting spam senders and titles. I mashed them into semi-coherent spiels then I came up with collages for each story. There were 5 in the series. 3 of them, this one included, were mainly composed of material from an late 19th C children's annual that was beyond repair. I doctored the images - for example the women were not so curvey - the old fashioned way, with a scalpel and ink! The other 2 used magazine ads for perfume and womens underwear :D
Saturday, June 18, 2005
She's got legs!
Listening to: ‘Blue Monday’ by New Order
A week of several firsts for me:
0 Bought my first set of tyres. Chose not to cut corners on choice of tyre. I thought I wouldn’t have enough money to go out this week to my favourite night club, Cabaret Nocturne as a result. Ironically the venue for CN is a neighbouring tenant to this tyre shop.
0 Spoke with my manager about the possibility of my progress through the company into management. She said has mentioned to our regional manager, my good management potential. This was the first time she and I had discussed it. Finally, a employer that has real opportunities for advancement - and not spin doctoring to suck you into thinking you can grow :/
0 Walked out of Max Brenners really pissed off, contemplating ripping up my frequent cupper card, after getting fed up with waiting for service. My buddy and I chatted for a while expecting the usual attentive service on a Friday night. Had to ask for menu after about 10 minutes, then we waited another 15 minutes to place our order via waiter/ess. Stupid git of a waitress appeared to think wiping the tables next to us was more important than checking to see if we were being served, or even ackowledging that we were there at all!!! Seriously disappointed :( We had such a nice history Max B and I. Have had only good things to say about the place until now. May not go back there again - ever. F*** 'em.
0 Bought my first trench coat. Rain proof, fully lined and necessary because…
0 …Wore fishnet hosiery in public (to CN). Actually I’ve never worn fishnets in private either, unless you count trying them on, so it’s a first on two counts :)
0 Saw a burlesque show (@ CN). Never been to one before. It bored me [shrug]. Do you need to be attracted to women to find this interesting?
While I haven’t gotten to the stage where I can dance totally alone on the dance floor and be completely comfortable, I think I’m getting there. There were a few times last night where I thought I’d be totally alone. After feeling a small panic and cursing quietly, I persisted dancing in the darkest corner I could find. I ended up being ‘joined’ by at least one other person, sometimes a small crowd.
That’s the beauty of goth clubs: you can dance by yourself and that’s perfectly normal, while not attracting too much unwanted male attention. Be a woman dancing by herself in a mainstream club and … Well, I haven’t tried it but I’m sure I wouldn’t like it. Found intrusive/intoxicated males annoying enough when dancing with other people.
Did you know...
WARNING: Retchworthy factoids to follow.
… Humpback whales have almost the same weight of testicles as they have of brains? That’s 5 kg of brain to 4 kg of testicles.
To prepare a whale skeleton from a carcass, museum curators must extract that brain. It’s usually done with a hose fed into the back of the skull. Turn the hose on and the water displaces the brain which ‘balloons out like pink minced tripe if it’s fresh, or rotten haggis if it’s off.’* Despite what you’ve read in this blog about my skull recovery escapades, this is a skull I’d leave to the professionals! When they don’t have a hose they will scoop it out with their hands - yech.
* Van Dyk, Dr Steve ‘Humpbacks: cannon balls and brains’, Nature Australia, Spring 2004, page 20
A week of several firsts for me:
0 Bought my first set of tyres. Chose not to cut corners on choice of tyre. I thought I wouldn’t have enough money to go out this week to my favourite night club, Cabaret Nocturne as a result. Ironically the venue for CN is a neighbouring tenant to this tyre shop.
0 Spoke with my manager about the possibility of my progress through the company into management. She said has mentioned to our regional manager, my good management potential. This was the first time she and I had discussed it. Finally, a employer that has real opportunities for advancement - and not spin doctoring to suck you into thinking you can grow :/
0 Walked out of Max Brenners really pissed off, contemplating ripping up my frequent cupper card, after getting fed up with waiting for service. My buddy and I chatted for a while expecting the usual attentive service on a Friday night. Had to ask for menu after about 10 minutes, then we waited another 15 minutes to place our order via waiter/ess. Stupid git of a waitress appeared to think wiping the tables next to us was more important than checking to see if we were being served, or even ackowledging that we were there at all!!! Seriously disappointed :( We had such a nice history Max B and I. Have had only good things to say about the place until now. May not go back there again - ever. F*** 'em.
0 Bought my first trench coat. Rain proof, fully lined and necessary because…
0 …Wore fishnet hosiery in public (to CN). Actually I’ve never worn fishnets in private either, unless you count trying them on, so it’s a first on two counts :)
0 Saw a burlesque show (@ CN). Never been to one before. It bored me [shrug]. Do you need to be attracted to women to find this interesting?
While I haven’t gotten to the stage where I can dance totally alone on the dance floor and be completely comfortable, I think I’m getting there. There were a few times last night where I thought I’d be totally alone. After feeling a small panic and cursing quietly, I persisted dancing in the darkest corner I could find. I ended up being ‘joined’ by at least one other person, sometimes a small crowd.
That’s the beauty of goth clubs: you can dance by yourself and that’s perfectly normal, while not attracting too much unwanted male attention. Be a woman dancing by herself in a mainstream club and … Well, I haven’t tried it but I’m sure I wouldn’t like it. Found intrusive/intoxicated males annoying enough when dancing with other people.
Did you know...
WARNING: Retchworthy factoids to follow.
… Humpback whales have almost the same weight of testicles as they have of brains? That’s 5 kg of brain to 4 kg of testicles.
To prepare a whale skeleton from a carcass, museum curators must extract that brain. It’s usually done with a hose fed into the back of the skull. Turn the hose on and the water displaces the brain which ‘balloons out like pink minced tripe if it’s fresh, or rotten haggis if it’s off.’* Despite what you’ve read in this blog about my skull recovery escapades, this is a skull I’d leave to the professionals! When they don’t have a hose they will scoop it out with their hands - yech.
* Van Dyk, Dr Steve ‘Humpbacks: cannon balls and brains’, Nature Australia, Spring 2004, page 20
Thursday, June 09, 2005
[smirk]
Listening to: ‘Dirty Mind’ by Shakespear’s Sister
On Monday I had trouble getting anything in focus on a telescope a customer was interested in, so got my colleague to help out. She took it and him outside the store into the atrium. Being towards the end of the day it was getting dark*. Too dark to focus on anything, save for one store: Bras ‘n’ Things. [outer smirk, giggles, some post customer cackles]
Was standing at tram stop on St Kilda Road this afternoon, Fed Square side, when I happened to look up and see a 2’ high sign saying ‘C OCKS’ [inner smirk] It was the sign for the gambling den next to the station, which normally reads (Taberet?)‘CLOCKS’ but I had happened to stand in a spot where the frame for the windows of the tram stop opposite, cut out the ‘L’. While on the tram it happened again. Two foot high ‘COCKS’ strategically framed by the tram’s windows. [another inner smirk], actually reads ‘ALCOCKS’. They are a pool and gaming tables supplier.
In other news...
[singing like Marilyn Monroe to JFK]
Happy Birthday… to you
Happy Birthday… to you
Happy Birthday… Johnny Depp…
Mmmmm :*)
Happy Birthday… to you
*When using a telescope for terrestrial use you need daytime conditions. When using it for space you need night time conditions with a minimum of ‘light pollution’.
On Monday I had trouble getting anything in focus on a telescope a customer was interested in, so got my colleague to help out. She took it and him outside the store into the atrium. Being towards the end of the day it was getting dark*. Too dark to focus on anything, save for one store: Bras ‘n’ Things. [outer smirk, giggles, some post customer cackles]
Was standing at tram stop on St Kilda Road this afternoon, Fed Square side, when I happened to look up and see a 2’ high sign saying ‘C OCKS’ [inner smirk] It was the sign for the gambling den next to the station, which normally reads (Taberet?)‘CLOCKS’ but I had happened to stand in a spot where the frame for the windows of the tram stop opposite, cut out the ‘L’. While on the tram it happened again. Two foot high ‘COCKS’ strategically framed by the tram’s windows. [another inner smirk], actually reads ‘ALCOCKS’. They are a pool and gaming tables supplier.
In other news...
[singing like Marilyn Monroe to JFK]
Happy Birthday… to you
Happy Birthday… to you
Happy Birthday… Johnny Depp…
Mmmmm :*)
Happy Birthday… to you
*When using a telescope for terrestrial use you need daytime conditions. When using it for space you need night time conditions with a minimum of ‘light pollution’.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Seperated at birth?
My best friend has suggested to me - on more than one occasion - that John Howard and Penfold the hamster from Dangermouse look alike.
"But Penfold is cute!" I retort.
Having put them side by side like this I think he has a point. Ooh crumbs!
"But Penfold is cute!" I retort.
Having put them side by side like this I think he has a point. Ooh crumbs!
Friday, May 27, 2005
Equine Enigma
I was reading an article in a back issue of Artichoke* on the train earlier in the week. The article looked at the excellent - do yourself a favour and see it - new Racing Museum at Federation Square, Melbourne. Captions for the pictures and further discussion of a particular feature in a project reminded me that wanky descriptions and use of ridiculously wordy language are still integral to the design culture.
'Dynamic spatial experience of the void draws visitors into the museum.'
'A glazed screen wraps the supergraphic around the multi-level pedestrian access void'
'The dynamic ribbon oscillates between two-dimensional graphic and architectonic element, resolving at various points into both. While unifying the necessary but disparate parts of the entry experience, this device also links the entry level to the museum...'
Wank, wank, wank, etcetera. 10 points to the first reader to guess what is being described.
Another equine related enigma is...
...This cigar band, from something my dad smoked. The horse is a disembodied head. Perhaps the dude holding the reins is with the mob? :P
*Design Institute of Australia's quarterly magazine - I used to be a member 'til I decided it was pointless given my current careeer trajectory.
'Dynamic spatial experience of the void draws visitors into the museum.'
'A glazed screen wraps the supergraphic around the multi-level pedestrian access void'
'The dynamic ribbon oscillates between two-dimensional graphic and architectonic element, resolving at various points into both. While unifying the necessary but disparate parts of the entry experience, this device also links the entry level to the museum...'
Wank, wank, wank, etcetera. 10 points to the first reader to guess what is being described.
Another equine related enigma is...
...This cigar band, from something my dad smoked. The horse is a disembodied head. Perhaps the dude holding the reins is with the mob? :P
*Design Institute of Australia's quarterly magazine - I used to be a member 'til I decided it was pointless given my current careeer trajectory.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Natural History (Dead Stuff) continued
WARNING: You may not want to read this before/during dinner/if you're squeamish when it comes to dead things
We dug up the rabbit skull (see Archives, February). Unfortunately we had left it in the ground for too long. The fissures that hold the bones of a skull together, had begun to seperate. The thinner parts at the base of the skull had partially disintegrated. The intricate nasal cavity folds - surprisingly similar to the fox in intricacy but obviously in a shorter snout - were crumbling. While useless for my brother's skull collection, I may yet use it in a sculpture...
Fortunately the darned blackbirds had disturbed the comorant skull a couple of months ago when it was almost ready. It's sitting in a plastic container waiting to me to dab a bit of PVA glue on its skull fissues, mandible and what not. Why didn't we just dig up the rabbit skull back then? In previous anticipation (is that a tautology?), we dug up gooey possum and rancid fox, that's why.
We dug up the rabbit skull (see Archives, February). Unfortunately we had left it in the ground for too long. The fissures that hold the bones of a skull together, had begun to seperate. The thinner parts at the base of the skull had partially disintegrated. The intricate nasal cavity folds - surprisingly similar to the fox in intricacy but obviously in a shorter snout - were crumbling. While useless for my brother's skull collection, I may yet use it in a sculpture...
Fortunately the darned blackbirds had disturbed the comorant skull a couple of months ago when it was almost ready. It's sitting in a plastic container waiting to me to dab a bit of PVA glue on its skull fissues, mandible and what not. Why didn't we just dig up the rabbit skull back then? In previous anticipation (is that a tautology?), we dug up gooey possum and rancid fox, that's why.
Blasphemy
Just thought I'd share this with you :/
The following clipping is in poor taste. I snipped it some time ago from an interior design trade magazine. In case any of you are viewing this on a public computer with a crappy screen it says
'Designer ware to die for'
with a pic of a reproduction, of the world's most famous pieta` (depiction of the Virgin Mary and the dead body of Christ).
I can't believe the company concerned thought this was publishable copywriting. Did the right hand know what the left hand was doing?
I consider myself lucky to have seen the original, albeit behind glass. It's a very emotive sculpture in the flesh. I'm not a believer but by goodness, Michelangelo was a genius [solemn nod]
The following clipping is in poor taste. I snipped it some time ago from an interior design trade magazine. In case any of you are viewing this on a public computer with a crappy screen it says
'Designer ware to die for'
with a pic of a reproduction, of the world's most famous pieta` (depiction of the Virgin Mary and the dead body of Christ).
I can't believe the company concerned thought this was publishable copywriting. Did the right hand know what the left hand was doing?
I consider myself lucky to have seen the original, albeit behind glass. It's a very emotive sculpture in the flesh. I'm not a believer but by goodness, Michelangelo was a genius [solemn nod]
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Why Lady Meerkat?
Lady Meerkat is like her animal namesake because she:
Is brown and athletic
Has big brown eyes
Has a little, pointy nose
Has long digits
Is usually perky and alert
Digs holes (and fills them in again with organic matter, plants and more dirt)
Has been seen perched on top of raised objects in order to see/access stuff
Stand on her toes to see better (top of CDs in racks at library)
Is dexterous
Has acute reflexes (gotten much better since started playing soccer)
Cooperative, a team player
Has bitten, nipped and nibbled her own species (in the best way :} )
Is charismatic, cute and adorable when she wants to be
Can be snarly and snappy when crossed
Eats meat
Stands upright
Lady Meerkat is not like her animal namesake because she:
Sometimes finds company stifling
Doesn't eat scorpions, grubs and snakes
Isn't stripey
Isn't covered from head to toe in fur, (although she does have downy to peach fuzz, all over and hairy non-scalp parts like every other female, homo sapiens. Is that too much information? :P)
Doesn't have a tail
Is fascinated not scared by the sight of a raptor in the sky
Has a blog. [drums] ba dah ba ping!
Lady Meerkat is a lady because she:
Covers her mouth when she coughs, burps or yawns*
Excuses herself when she burps*
Puts her napkin/serviette on her lap
Uses a knife and fork where available
Says please and thankyou
Avoids profanities*
Opens the bottle of wine a guest has brought to drink with dinner
Tries not to interrupt others when they are talking (though sometimes her meerkat enthusiasm gets the better of her)
Lets other passengers alight before getting onto public transport (among many other courteous things**)
Holds her long skirts clear of steps when climbing the stairs
Lady Meerkat is not a lady because she indulges in the following when not in polite company:
[puts hand in front of mouth while yawning]
Sorry, must go and get my beauty sleep.
Can't look as fab as I do without enough sleep ;)
Goodnight dearies...
*when in public
[edit 06/05]**benefitting (sp?) complete strangers!
Is brown and athletic
Has big brown eyes
Has a little, pointy nose
Has long digits
Is usually perky and alert
Digs holes (and fills them in again with organic matter, plants and more dirt)
Has been seen perched on top of raised objects in order to see/access stuff
Stand on her toes to see better (top of CDs in racks at library)
Is dexterous
Has acute reflexes (gotten much better since started playing soccer)
Cooperative, a team player
Has bitten, nipped and nibbled her own species (in the best way :} )
Is charismatic, cute and adorable when she wants to be
Can be snarly and snappy when crossed
Eats meat
Stands upright
Lady Meerkat is not like her animal namesake because she:
Sometimes finds company stifling
Doesn't eat scorpions, grubs and snakes
Isn't stripey
Isn't covered from head to toe in fur, (although she does have downy to peach fuzz, all over and hairy non-scalp parts like every other female, homo sapiens. Is that too much information? :P)
Doesn't have a tail
Is fascinated not scared by the sight of a raptor in the sky
Has a blog. [drums] ba dah ba ping!
Lady Meerkat is a lady because she:
Covers her mouth when she coughs, burps or yawns*
Excuses herself when she burps*
Puts her napkin/serviette on her lap
Uses a knife and fork where available
Says please and thankyou
Avoids profanities*
Opens the bottle of wine a guest has brought to drink with dinner
Tries not to interrupt others when they are talking (though sometimes her meerkat enthusiasm gets the better of her)
Lets other passengers alight before getting onto public transport (among many other courteous things**)
Holds her long skirts clear of steps when climbing the stairs
Lady Meerkat is not a lady because she indulges in the following when not in polite company:
[puts hand in front of mouth while yawning]
Sorry, must go and get my beauty sleep.
Can't look as fab as I do without enough sleep ;)
Goodnight dearies...
*when in public
[edit 06/05]**benefitting (sp?) complete strangers!
Monday, April 25, 2005
Social Bat
Went to my second Goth Forum meet up and my first Golgotha (it's a bit like Blue Monday, in that it's always on a long weekend, and everyone attends if they can). Had a great time meeting more people as well as getting to know a little bit better the few I've already met.
Goreki, you're my favourite kind of funny-perky-crazy - even nuttier than me - I love that!
I would have stayed longer but my brother/companion was getting tired and I wanted to pay my share of the taxi fare. We can't all be extra perky meerkats, buzzing from drinking guarana and gingko laced fruit juice all day :*D Btw that is really good stuff if you want to get a caffeine buzz/stay awake naturally. It's like drinking coffee but your breath smells better and you don't have to pee as much. I got mine from Coles Express in the refrigerated juice aisle.
Goreki, you're my favourite kind of funny-perky-crazy - even nuttier than me - I love that!
I would have stayed longer but my brother/companion was getting tired and I wanted to pay my share of the taxi fare. We can't all be extra perky meerkats, buzzing from drinking guarana and gingko laced fruit juice all day :*D Btw that is really good stuff if you want to get a caffeine buzz/stay awake naturally. It's like drinking coffee but your breath smells better and you don't have to pee as much. I got mine from Coles Express in the refrigerated juice aisle.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
WTF?
My brother bought a box of second hand model trains at Camberwell Market. Yesterday I noticed this piece of packaging from it. We were bemused. It reads:
'TAMMY (R)
Solid state full circuit toilet tissue dispenser
radio ... for complete private enjoyment
MODEL : E - 1077'
Weirdo train nuts ;)
Tammy, Model: E- 1077
In other news...
My best friend is back at work, doing light duties. Upon my request, in exchange for house sitting favours, we're going to see the Lion King when it's here in Melbourne :D The puppetry and costumes for that look amazing [nod]
'TAMMY (R)
Solid state full circuit toilet tissue dispenser
radio ... for complete private enjoyment
MODEL : E - 1077'
Weirdo train nuts ;)
Tammy, Model: E- 1077
In other news...
My best friend is back at work, doing light duties. Upon my request, in exchange for house sitting favours, we're going to see the Lion King when it's here in Melbourne :D The puppetry and costumes for that look amazing [nod]
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Registering high on the BS scale
The following appeared in yesterday's job section of The Age, My Career:
'We seek an experienced sales professional for our dynamic retail store. Our vision is to inspire individuals to step up and become leaders whilst being champions at turning out results within their own lives...'
Intriuging, isn't it? Also stinks of BS or similar. Here's why:
'...The successful applicant will be working within the Gilbert Retail Group which is one of the most dynamic multi-store groups of Cash Converter Stores.'
Who writes this crap?
'We seek an experienced sales professional for our dynamic retail store. Our vision is to inspire individuals to step up and become leaders whilst being champions at turning out results within their own lives...'
Intriuging, isn't it? Also stinks of BS or similar. Here's why:
'...The successful applicant will be working within the Gilbert Retail Group which is one of the most dynamic multi-store groups of Cash Converter Stores.'
Who writes this crap?
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
24 uses for a little,dead, green man*
I own a piece of Alessi! Why is this so exciting?
Official Alessi Website
Alessi aka The Dream Factory, is an Italian design group that been around since 1921. They started off manufacturing metal tea services. Over the years they have elevated some designers to international fame; Michael Graves, Philippe Starck, as well as Australians Marc Newson (grrrr) and artist Susan Cohn (she designed the cohndom box). Today, Alessi is synonymous with bright, playful - and expensive - homeware.
So how can a Part Time retail worker afford Alessi? Simple: she shops at Savers :D I was wandering through there as I usually do after handing in my fortnightly form to Centrelink (Savers and Centrelink are on opposite sides of the same block here). Saw this funny green man lying on the shelf with a tummy that doubled as a pen holder. Flipped him over and there’s the Alessi logo. Whoah… this is a big deal for a former Industrial Design student to find Alessi going for $3.99 in as new condition. After all of those years of admiring cool stuff that I thought I’d never own.
I’m not a label ho mind you. I gave some thought as to what I was going to do with this dude. Did I have a use for him? Where would he take up pen holding duty? Oh hell with it, figure it out when ya get home, you can finally own Alessi. Wheeeee! He’s looking good next to my computer :)
It was my day at Savers yesterday - and not just for the bright green, Alessi voodoo doll/dead dude that you stick pens into. Noooo. I also found:
~ a velvet trimmed, black, wool felt hat from Italy which, with a bit of sewing in the right spots, I am going to turn into a 3 point hat aka a PIRATE HAT! *excited*
~ some little black gloves, with an embroided detail, with fingers that actually fit my elegantly long digits. They must be an older than they look because they are made in Western Germany.
~ a black, ¾ lace sleeve (fitted then flares/ruffs out in a Baroque/Rococco, late 18th c. style, don’t know technical term) top, with ribbon trim, lace up bodice detail with lace behind that on the front. The cool comfort of a singlet top, with the elegance of flowing sleeves. Needs a little mending. Plan to sew in a satin panel behind the lace detail since you can see bra through lace panel. I don’t want to do a Gwyeneth Paltrow and go without, since that look is no better IMHO.
All of this for $14.95! ‘Twas a good start to my day. I trotted home with a little smile on my face.
Erm, do I sound materialistic with two consecutive posts about 2nd hand acquisitions? Sorry. Just wanted to share my excitement in these purchases. This won’t become a shopping blog. Promise :P
In other news…
Got another MLP (Moondancer is yellow, with red and purple mane, glitter moon and stars on her rump), this time from an Op Shop near my best friend’s house. We were house sitting for him. His was the first house I sat. Have taken care of other people’s animals before. This was more challenging but overall enjoyable.
Have visited Caberet Nocturne @ Dream for the third time and reckon I’m in danger of becoming a regular ;) Looks like I’ve re-entered the scene at an excellent point in time! Good people, good music. *happy sigh*
*Hold 23 pens/pencils/things, plus you could use him as a paper weight
Official Alessi Website
Alessi aka The Dream Factory, is an Italian design group that been around since 1921. They started off manufacturing metal tea services. Over the years they have elevated some designers to international fame; Michael Graves, Philippe Starck, as well as Australians Marc Newson (grrrr) and artist Susan Cohn (she designed the cohndom box). Today, Alessi is synonymous with bright, playful - and expensive - homeware.
So how can a Part Time retail worker afford Alessi? Simple: she shops at Savers :D I was wandering through there as I usually do after handing in my fortnightly form to Centrelink (Savers and Centrelink are on opposite sides of the same block here). Saw this funny green man lying on the shelf with a tummy that doubled as a pen holder. Flipped him over and there’s the Alessi logo. Whoah… this is a big deal for a former Industrial Design student to find Alessi going for $3.99 in as new condition. After all of those years of admiring cool stuff that I thought I’d never own.
I’m not a label ho mind you. I gave some thought as to what I was going to do with this dude. Did I have a use for him? Where would he take up pen holding duty? Oh hell with it, figure it out when ya get home, you can finally own Alessi. Wheeeee! He’s looking good next to my computer :)
It was my day at Savers yesterday - and not just for the bright green, Alessi voodoo doll/dead dude that you stick pens into. Noooo. I also found:
~ a velvet trimmed, black, wool felt hat from Italy which, with a bit of sewing in the right spots, I am going to turn into a 3 point hat aka a PIRATE HAT! *excited*
~ some little black gloves, with an embroided detail, with fingers that actually fit my elegantly long digits. They must be an older than they look because they are made in Western Germany.
~ a black, ¾ lace sleeve (fitted then flares/ruffs out in a Baroque/Rococco, late 18th c. style, don’t know technical term) top, with ribbon trim, lace up bodice detail with lace behind that on the front. The cool comfort of a singlet top, with the elegance of flowing sleeves. Needs a little mending. Plan to sew in a satin panel behind the lace detail since you can see bra through lace panel. I don’t want to do a Gwyeneth Paltrow and go without, since that look is no better IMHO.
All of this for $14.95! ‘Twas a good start to my day. I trotted home with a little smile on my face.
Erm, do I sound materialistic with two consecutive posts about 2nd hand acquisitions? Sorry. Just wanted to share my excitement in these purchases. This won’t become a shopping blog. Promise :P
In other news…
Got another MLP (Moondancer is yellow, with red and purple mane, glitter moon and stars on her rump), this time from an Op Shop near my best friend’s house. We were house sitting for him. His was the first house I sat. Have taken care of other people’s animals before. This was more challenging but overall enjoyable.
Have visited Caberet Nocturne @ Dream for the third time and reckon I’m in danger of becoming a regular ;) Looks like I’ve re-entered the scene at an excellent point in time! Good people, good music. *happy sigh*
*Hold 23 pens/pencils/things, plus you could use him as a paper weight
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