Would you like flies with that?

Please do not feed the birds

Especially the ones with human heads.

See you at the bitter end.

"There's lemons on sale again."

#mondegreen #lifeonmars #ripdavidbowie
Today would have been David Bowie's 70th birthday :(

There is some debate as the whether the real song lyric is Lennon or Lenin. Liner sheets say Lennon.

Weird window prop

At Michael's camera shop in Melbourne CBD. Not sure how this prop is relevant to any of this and it's just a weird/creepy prop in of itself.

Everyone is here and ready to roll!

Keeping these hard waste finds together to take to my parents' house for my nieces to play with, was best done like this:

Random use of capital letters in a survey leads to LOLs.

HOW DARE YOU EVEN ASK ME THAT?!

FYI from the Zoos Victoria, members' survey, 2016

How big, blue and beautiful

Unfortunate use of an apostrophe on the plural but nonetheless an amusing poster hack.

Free green submarine

According to my research, I'm not the only who sees it.



We tram for free in a green submarine [tram bell] *ding ding*
A green submarine *ding ding*
Free green submarine.

Why is Mr Happy so?

Why is Mr Happy so? Did he help the others to freedom via The Claw and this altruism warmed his little yellow cockles? Is it because he is finally alone and has some space to himself? Is it because it's all about him now and he loves that? The mind boggles.



He was my favorite Mr Man as a child.

Sometimes a misheard lyric still makes sense.

My housemate slightly amused and incredulous to me as we're listening to David Bowie's Secret Life of Arabia, from the rather excellent Heroes.
"Did he just say 'the secret life of a labia?'"

Shrunken head

Those folks at Lombard tickle me with their quiet humour.

Here is their Christmas themed homage to the afterlife waiting room in Tim Burton's Beetlejuice.

Madonna and Child in 3D

After seeing Sir David Attenborough present Life in the Third Dimension at the Regent Theatre, some us weren't sure what to do with our 3D glasses. A guy ahead of me popped one on the lady. Chuckling as I passed I went back to pop mine on the child. We both took photographs on our phones with cheeky grins on our faces!

Why do birds suddenly appear, every time Blake is near?

'What is the strange fascination with Blake Garvey? He is a handsome fellow and his shirt removals certainly reveal he has got what counts. But is it his looks? Is it the fact that his voice is so low that worms explode when he talks?'
Ben Pobjie about The Bachelor, The Age, September 4, 2014

Speed hump with bite

Fitzroy North, Melbourne
October 2013

Relieved like a manta ray...

'Knowing this information gives me scope and dimension; it allows my bowels to exhale relievedly like a manta ray settling on the ocean floor'
From 'Would it Kill You to Stop Doing That?' By Henry Alford

More Band Names

Continuing on from my previous post of band names:
Nematode (explaining a home crop issue to J)
Anal Plate (flipping through a field guide of Australian butterflies. I think it describes part of a caterpillar)
Dirty Measure (housemate talking about reusing a measuring cup)
Pissweak Paperweight (an observation made about an antique acquisition of my father's)
Sticky Spud (~can't remember~)
Spank the Colander (action taken to remove droplets caught in apertures of colander to ensure it dries in dish rack)

Chicken Twirl Mascot

I was unusually checking out Woolworth's frozen food section and was reminded why I don't usually do this:

Chicken Twirls, Southern style.


At least he seems like a polite mascot with hat doffed and toothy ah, disarming smile - even if his legs are a bit too heroically apart! Can you imagine him sitting on a horse? Why does he have a belt? What is that curious bulge at the top of his leg? Why am I calling it a him?

The feminine wiles of aubergines.

My housemate grew one bootilicious aka callipygian (cal·li·pyg·i·an) aubergine last Summer.


I bought this one because I couldn't resist sharing her with you!

Ladies we should not be ashamed of our - or our fresh produce's - sexy parts. It's empowering to see female artists reclaiming female genitalia back from the censors and celebrating it as something beautiful, sensual and intimate. I'm not sure I'd want to wear it around my neck but to each her own!

A banana a day.

Current Australian Bananas advertisement on tram. 'Uranus Choc Log' [smirk 'n' giggles]

Word Salad / Band Names

Throughout and beyond my relationship with J we have enjoyed playing with words, learning new ones, and recombining common phrases or ideas into sources of amusement. One of the things he taught me was band names ie. curious phrase, word combination results in "That would be a good name for a band" - either because it sounds cool, or it's so silly/funny it could work for the right act. Since I got J's old i-phone 4 I've been taking note of them for posterity to share here. I know this concept isn't unique to us. If I bothered to Google* it maybe there's a whole site/community/twitter feed dedicated to it. No matter. You're welcome :)
I've also added how the origin/context of the phrase if it isn't self explanatory and I can remember it.

Ox Blood Goat (trying to recall the word for the colour, misfiring it as ox gall and being misheard as goat)
Left Curve (road sign)
Arm Fart 
Random Kebab (comment after seeing many kebab caravans in an area)
Oozy Crumpet (with honey and butter)
Joffrey and the Oozy Crumpets (had been watching GoT)
Plush Tuxedo (my description of Fonzie the Cardigan Corgi's coat/markings)
Death Burp (discussion about preserving olives)
Death Fart
Smurf Jerky (may have followed a discussion about the crapness of Avatar and how it ends?)
Decaf Goon. (was talking about coffee...)
Fridge Funk (J's shared fridge emanates a stink) 
Segregated Pumpkin (J roasted some organic and not-organically grown pumpkin on seperate trays)

Feel free to use any of them - let me know and send me a link if you do!

*I would get this sort of thing.